Confidence is everything- How I gained mine [part 3]
This is the follow-up to part 2
When I got home from the UK after visiting my friend Mark, where he installed a dating app on my phone, I was sitting in front of the TV when my phone made an unfamiliar sound.
A girl called Bianca had sent me a message.
'You look good in a braided shirt'
I checked out her profile and she looked beautiful.
Me, 2014 (I still used hairgel).
I was training hard at the time which had increased my confidence a bit but it was flimsy.
Any unknown female contact I still considered pretty much a miracle.
I had no experience at all at seducing anything.
So I choose my reply carefully.
'Thank you, you look really nice in your picture too'.
I don't know why, but it worked and we started to chat.
She was a Brazilian coming to the Netherlands for a year as an au pair. We started to chat about life in Brasil and where she would live in the Netherlands.
The chat turned from hours into days into weeks. I loved talking with her about life and people in general. We had lots in common. Not once did it turn into anything sexual. Which was fine with me, I probably would have screwed that up anyway.
I started to grow very fond of our conversation. It was also giving me confidence. I was in actual contact with a woman and it was going well.
First date
The first time I met her in real life was in the Central Station in Rotterdam. It took her many weeks (of being in the Netherlands) to finally meet me. Not because she didn't want to but because she was a bit scared. (she only told me this after....guess I wasn't the only one lacking confidence.)
We went to the city of Utrecht that day. It was our first real date. She was much more comfortable than I (or pretended to be). We walked around the whole city and we had dinner near the canal.
At night we walked to the Dom tower. It was lit up from underneath with different colors of light. My master plan was to kiss her under the tower. (It was never a plan really, I came up with that on the date itself...)
Dom tower, Utrecht
But when we arrived there I realized that I didn't know how to approach such a situation. Like I said, I'm not very smooth with the ladies, and it was a long time since I kissed anyone.
"Do you want to kiss me?", she said.
That was all the encouragement I needed.
We kissed.
After the kiss, I'm pretty sure I heard her say 'Wow!' under her breath.
I was doing the moonwalk in my head. I can tell you that.
I turned out I still had some magic left in me :)
Confidence +100%.
Not long after the date, I went to the UK to participate in the mud run.
It was a great success and we made it.
The succes sadly didn't last long. I got very sick not long after coming back. December 2014.
That's a thing that nobody ever teaches to you. Once you start gaining love, you start to worry about losing it. Especially when it's all new to you.
Getting sick would teach me that my mind is my worst enemy and my best friend at the same time.
End of part 3...
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All I can say is wow!! Incredible story. Thank you for letting us in to enjoy this very special time in your life. Your honesty is very telling and quite empowering. With confidence being the focal point of your story, it's truly remarkable that you can bare your soul and share your insecurities and inner most feelings with us, that takes great strength.
Really dig how you're releasing this story bit by bit to show just how far you've come. You're and Bianca's love story will be for all to see on the block chain forever. That's a pretty cool thing.
I also really liked the pics of the mud run but hate to hear you got sick. Your ending is spot on and absolutely correct. OUr minds absolutely are our greatest allies and worst enemies. If you tell yourself you can or can't do something, you're right either way.
Great story brother and you and Bianca have a great night!
Thank you man, I feel pretty much ok with sharing anything at the moment. I guess that's confidence too.
So beautiful to read your story. Please ask Bianca to write her story of that period, that would give a two-way perspective and I think that would be so very nice to read. One day your future children will read this love story and they will love it.
I surelly will! That will be funny haha
I'm not sure if this is a good idea, lol!
Nice journey but i lost you after the mud run how did you get sick and you lost your girlfriend or i will know this in part 4 ?
I tried to make it a 'cliffhanger' but I realised it didn't work the way as I intended it. I'll do my best when part 4 comes out.
It's actually great to hear your love story. It's amazing you were able to find someone you have so much in common with just over the internet.
Glad to know that you have found a partner who have many things in common with you...This common interests may draw you even close together and add that extra zeal in your relationship.
Kisses and MUD. Love is in the Air @exyle. Love You my Brother and have a Wonderful Day............................STEEM ON !
Great day to you too!
I wonder how people can think of a place in advance where they would kiss. It is a mystery to me. I think only time when I can plan that is when I am sure that I will kiss the girl, and she will kiss me back.
In other words, if she is my girlfriend already and kissed before, only then I can plan for place. Maybe a confidence issue with me.
I came up with that idea on the fly man. I sort of felt I had to try somehow to give her a kiss....lol man, I'm sure you have more confidence with that stuff than I had back then :)
Confidence plays a really big part when it comes to girls and is essential in the journey to find yourself. You've come a long way, you should be proud of what you've accomplished.
Thank you.
Interesting post, tell me quickly how your romance ended.
I could not tell you, it's still ongoing :)
wow fantastic story to gain confidence @exyle, it's true that while talking or meeting with females it's natural to low in confidence because it's something very unique for every body and once we get some encouragement then we slowly gaining confidence and it's actually very helpful in life, i am happy that you found your dream partner and wishing you both a very happy and cheerful life ahead, thanks for sharing
thank you ever so much!