Are we really afraid of being unique?
We are afraid to be like everyone else.
Our actions are driven by this fear: to be incomprehensible to others, and therefore to be rejected, to be rejected.
But you will be covered with horror, when the truth suddenly appears before you: you spend your only life in becoming as clear as possible, predictable, and not surprising.
No surprising.
Could something be worse?
Four years ago, I read an article somewhere about Wilson Bentley, the first photographer to take snowflake photos. The very same photographer who, in the course of his experiments, came to the conclusion that there are no two identical snowflakes.
The society immediately romanticized this idea of originality, made it cloyingly sentimental. Naturally, transferring the qualities of originality to people.
The propagated sweet truth: "We are all unique, like snowflakes."
But in fact, people are most afraid in life of being unique, different, unusual. Everyone wants to be a copy of someone who is already there.
Stop doing that.
Translate your view from others to yourself. Look at you. Watch yourself as the protagonist of your favorite series. Do you like yourself? Do you like this character? Does it cause you delight and admiration?
So he goes to the subway, buried in the phone, killing time, just not to think about anything, just not to be alone with himself.
This is you. The same "unique snowflake."
Nearby, crowds of people with empty, bored eyes sit, stand, ride, also buried in their phones. They, like you, are "unique snowflakes."
How do you differ from them? What is your uniqueness?
Do you love more than others? Do you have the courage to talk about things that you don’t need to keep quiet about? Do you have more wisdom to keep silent about what you should not talk about?
Did you cry not from grief, but from the fullness of life?
I embrace wholeheartedly your philosophy, but it's not that easy to understand our own uniqueness. And to like it. And trust me, I get where you're coming from. I loved the imagery you've used in this post, the snowflakes, the subway. I take the subway and I have the same damn feeling when I look around. People around me apparently have a lot to say, on Instagram. But in the end they all look a bit alike, to me.
Thing about liking yourself is that, without others, we really have not much reference to decide what we like or what we don't. We need other people to understand who we are, and many times we get carried away by what others expect of us, which is completely different if you think about it.
If society gets scared of anything that is different, then being different equals being alone. And that's why we tend to hide and kind of mimic what other people behave like, I guess.
Thank! I like your thought process.
Don't you think that society confuses such concepts as “loneliness” and “rejection”?
After all, if you think about it, then in loneliness itself there is nothing gloomy, you do not become an outcast and an empty place in this world. From the point of view of philosophy, we are all alone. We are born alone and die alone too. All the people in our lives are travel companions, because all our life we are alone and every day we conduct internal dialogues with ourselves.
Loneliness is even sometimes useful to gather your thoughts and understand what you want from this life.
Rejection = loneliness in terms of society is a failure, it is an outcast, an empty place, doomed to suffering. Perhaps this is the reason for this fear? We are afraid NOT of loneliness, we are afraid that they will turn their backs on us and for this we choose someone else's life for ourselves.
We think very much alike. I love being alone every once in a while, because I'm alright with myself. People who fear loneliness fear being alone with themselves, with their thoughts, with nobody that tells them what to be, what to like and dislike, what to think.
Thing is, only when you feel that you don't need other people you can establish healthy, strong relationships with them. Then you can share those "internal dialogues" and get those travel companions that you talk about.
I don't know if or why people confuse these two concepts. Rejection is, basically, forced loneliness; if you are afraid of loneliness, I guess you might feel rejected everytime you are alone. Or maybe, if you don't like yourself you get convinced that society doesn't like you either.
To be unique means to go against groupthink, to be confident, to be a visionary, to challenge the status quo and those are all uphill battles many of us would rather not face. To be unique is almost a calling because it has to go through so much to be allowed to exist
I think that's why we bastardise it and look for small things to make ourselves seem unique like a tattoo or colouring our hair. I think true uniqueness needs to be tested and almost pushed towards breaking point to proove it is indeed worthy of being acknowledged
Agree with you. It is a pity that not everyone has the strength and courage to do this. Although, in fact, we are limited not so much by society and its assessment, but by our own prejudices. Unfortunately.
This is worth reading. Bravo and thanks for such a well done piece
Thank you)
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I love this philosophy you speak about. It's taken more time than I care to admit to fully embrace my uniqueness. It's never too late to demonstrate how specially unique you really are- the world is as unique as you choose to see it and we all want to see how you perceive it! "Same is Lame" is a saying I should have embraced long ago!
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I like your philosophy !!
I think that we ourselves are shaping our world. Indeed, he will be the way we want to see him. If he will be deprived of uniqueness, gray, gloomy and evil, then these are only our mistakes and fears to prove ourselves to be real.
Yaaaas!🤩👍
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Very nice job on this post. It really got me thinking, so I composed a post response.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic.
https://steemit.com/steempeak/@futuremind/3roueu-re-extractum-lunae-are-we-really-afraid-of-being-unique
Thank you!)
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We're on this wave as far as accepting ourselves and trying to fit in. It's human to want to be a part of something, to belong. We're just trying to get that feeling in the wrong places. Society as a whole does not like difference. It does not like change. Whenever someone is different they are criticized for being so, yet the person that does the criticizing is usually the one to all of their friends 'I accept everyone, everyone should be free to be themselves.' 'OMG do you see what she is wearing, who on earth would wear something like that, there must be something wrong with her.' The only thing wrong is that the person didn't wear what Miss Acceptance deems as acceptable.
People want to just say or heck not even say 'I'm gay. I'm bi-sexual. I'm a witch. I'm fat and so forth. The just want to live and not be treated poorly for how they think or feel. I admit it, I have seen a few people and thought 'Why on earth would they wear that?' Mainly from the perspective of if they really looked at themselves they might not want to make that choice. The thing is, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the person inside the clothes.
Yes people are afraid of being unique. The don't want the hassle of being hassled. I didn't have a choice, my name did it for me. It was different when names weren't different. I had wanted to go by my middle name but Lynn still was a standard first name either. As time went on, I realize the blessing it has been. I still struggle with being me and not having to feel accepted. Isn't that what part of life is, to find your place?