Most of the answers you seek are probably in the tens of thousands of ancient books hidden in the vaults of the Vatican..
I have been studying the mystery schools (Astrology, Tarot, Numerology, & the Kabbala) for many moons & researching many other things related to "The All" on line..It's been my hobby for the last 6 years, & I have been finding some interesting stuff about this reality & what roll we play in it..
The best way to put it, is that I feel that I am a spirit having a human experience..In essence we are fractals from the source & an expression of the one..Think in terms of frequencies & vibrations, & of thought being the ultimate energy..
"A New Concept of the Universe", by Walter Russell