Parent-Child Relationship Revelations from an Adult Child (Part 1)
When I was 2, my mother quit her prestigious job to be a stay-at-home mom. Now, after 22 years out of the work force, my mother is a single mom and is no longer qualified for the job she previously excelled in and adored.
I am a recent college graduate with a degree in engineering. For most of my education, I have planned on attending graduate school or medical school without a second thought. It was without a question in my mind. My mother has always been encouraging of this. However, after undergrad, I chose to take a year off an work and "relax", with the complete intent of going back to school ASAP.
Now that I am a graduate, my loan payments have popped up. Not only for me, but even more so for my mother. She cosigned with me because she is great. My mother's loans for my schooling are more than double mine. I did not know this until recently. She has started working full time for $11/hr. I could not afford a car when I first graduated. My mother rode her bike 3 miles to work so I could borrow her car to drive to my job 23 miles away. She works long hours, and her health has obviously declined in the year since I've moved home.
But this isn't a sob story. It's just the facts. My point in sharing this is: How did I let this happen??? How did I let this happen to my own mother? I have failed her as an adult child.
So I have come up with a plan. Despite my advisers and mentors telling me to "just apply already" to medical school, I think I have found something more important. My mother deserves a shot at going back to school. She has always wanted to. She has been so gracious to me in my schooling. Now it's her turn. I'm a 24 y/o with an ok job. I can work a few more years and make enough money for my mother to go back to school. She deserves it more than me. It's her turn.
We only have one life, and while I want to go on and do great things through more schooling, I find it is most important that we take care of the people we do have in our lives. A mother will give and give and give for her children without expecting anything in return. While that is a great quality to have, a child must not forget that their parent deserves that same reflection of love and opportunity.
Medical school for a 24 year old can wait. Schooling for my 62 year old mother cannot.
Hi, My name is Emily and I am doing a series about "Parent-Child Relationship Revelations". I currently am 24 years old and live with my 62 year old mother. While it has been tough reaching common ground, I have learned very much about what it means to be an adult child.