Mind Over Emotions
I'll admit, being a female and dealing with the emotions that come with it can be very tough. We feel happy one minute and stressed the next.
We feel encouraged today and defeated tomorrow (for literally no reason at all sometimes.) We can feel crazy, an emotional wreck, overly sensitive. Some even have the reputation of having an attitude as it has become habitual behavior. As a women, I can say these are all true. I can also add that it doesn't make it right for us to act on these emotions. It's a grand mountain to conquer, and sometimes we fail. And those sometimes are generally the best part. Knowing the angles of the mountain and figuring out how not to approach it can be just as beneficial.
Since I was a young women, it always confused me when people would say 'they're jusy being a girl' when a particluar female was being irrational emotionally. I never once thought the 'she's just a girl' statement was anywhere near an excuse to behave that way. We are not mere beasts with a lack of personal control over our body and how it functions. We were created with the capability to control our thoughts, emotions, and bodies. It's going to require patience, perseverance, and a good amount of grace (for ourselves) to reach the level we were created to reach.
Control over our emotions is definitely easier said than done. Recently going through two years of pregnancy, believe me when I tell you, I know how hard it is. Some days we have no idea why we are feeling frusterated and irritable or sad. And that's ok. We just have to choose how to act on those impulse emotions.
One of the best ways to learn how to control our emotions is to recognize we are feeling them. If we are being snappy or irritated with our partners, we can sit back and recognize we are reacting out of frusteration or irritation. If we are being short with our children or co-workers, we can take a step back and reconize that we are tired and short nerved or feeling overwhelmed. We can pause and recognize what our body is doing. These momentary emotions can be recognized by using our mind to realize that we are acting (or reacting) out of our emotions.
Another way is to put our emotions in check. I find myself literally countering my emotions with logic. One of my favorite ways to do this is repeating in my mind 'react logically, not emotionally', even if I have to do it every time I want to get upset over something. We can react with our thinking instead of our emotions. React rationally, not emotionally. When we feel frusterated, we can still react without the emotion of frusteration. The issue still exists, but not allowing those feelings to dictate the direction of the situation opens wide the door to solutions and productive problem solving.
Source: http://dothash.buzz/5-things-you-should-not-say-to-your-woman/
Warning: Possible discomfort for the audience. But it's real so I'm ok with that!
One issue I (and all of us) encounter on a regular basis that truly does tip the justice scale is the extreme times of emotions. Women, even though we have so much working against us on our days of pain () it's just not ok to use 'that time of the month' to treat others poorly or with bad attitudes. While a little more grace during those times is happily accepted, we still do not have the right to let even these emotions control us. We have to use our mind and logic to conquer these emotions, even if that just means reminding ourselves that everything is magnified at the moment and everything really is ok.
I've been incredibley guilty about it. I have done the 'slam things around to let him know I am not happy'. In reality, I was throwing an adult temper trantrum instead of communicating with my fiance', using my words. I am guilty of being too sensitive when it really was meant in fun. I am guilty of all of it, but in my journey of becoming the best version of myself, I can truly say that these moments are now few and far in between. It IS possibe to control our emotions, it IS possible to use our logic. Failure will happen. But that's part of the process! So let's decide to do our best, every day. To work on the self control of our emotions. Our world will tranform before our eyes (starting with our own perspective) and our partners, kids, co-workers, and friends will have a peaceful experience with us around. Mind over emotion. What a world it will be.
Great post!! I put my hand up as an offender of the emotional reaction, my kids cop it, my business partner cops it, my family cops it...I know that everything you have written here is 100% true and that I am in control of these emotional outbursts! Somedays logic just goes out the window but I am working on staying in control more and more everyday :) Thanks so much for putting this out there :)
And thank you for the support! It's so hard to be vulnerable sometimes, glad to see I'm not the only one with a hand raised 😁 We are well on our way, failure is only an obstacle to climb over 😊 You are right on, all we can do is work on it daily, in those moments. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Yay I found a gal om Steem who's into logic (and I mean this in the best possible way ofc lol) =)
Believe me, I'm as excited as you are! 😁 Awesome to find like minded people, especially when it comes to the issues of life. Following you, thanks so much for the feedback!
Not sure all women fall under the category
I don't think all women do either. Many even have it down better than me! 😁 I can definitely appreciate that coming from you, it's nice to see the balance. Thanks for the feedback!
Nice to see you here on the platform! Let me know if you have any questions. Cheers Ma'am!
:-P
Thank you sir, great to be here! You've been awesome in helping me figure this all out lol Most appreciated!
The mind, and brain, are where emotions come from. All things that happen, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, are connected through neural pathways in the brain and the nervous system. The biology of the female and male brain are different. This has been necessary in the traditional family unit, (well in the past anyway) to optimise the chances of survival of the offspring. We develop patterns of thinking, usually entrenched through environmental factors and having certain thought patterns and behaviours validated in different scenarios throughout our life, which strengthen neural pathways. These patterns of thinking become habitual and are reflected by our actions. By changing your thinking, you actually create a physical change in your brain. Different behaviours are acceptable and effective in some scenarios and not in others and problems arise from mainly two things. Denying your emotions and allowing them to build up and burst open, and you become distressed wherever, and whenever, and using old behavioural patterns that are no longer efficient (or socially acceptable) in new stages of life. How do we change our thinking? Taking notice of our thoughts, letting them pass, like a cloud over a mountain, and practicing new ones. This is part of a thought changing process called Dialectics. It is very important, as you have pointed out, to acknowledge your emotions. But don't get attached to them. Don't use terms such as "I'm having a bad day." Because you are actually just having a moment. The brain cannot sustain an emotion, and the consequent hormonal cocktail that is released into the nervous system, for more than approximately 15 seconds. It has to be re-triggered after that. Which, by allowing a build up emotional hormones by not allowing yourself to healthily process emotions previously, and in times of intense circumstances, (such as grief, tragedy, crisis, being bombarded with too many demands, or winning the lotto) , will happen. Feeling the emotion for 15 seconds, recognising it, and letting it go, is a good way to ward of the distress which leads to overwhelming emotional outbursts and breakdowns. Of course it's not as simple as this in practice, but practice you must, to achieve this as an habitual state of being.
Modern Western psychology has adopted this type of therapy for use in a range of maladies. Tibetan Buddhists, have been using it for thousands of years in their day to day life, to achieve contentment and the inner peace that eludes us so often, our hectic western lives. Today it is known in medicine as DBT. Often referred to as mindfulness therapy. It was designed by a Tibetan Buddhist, Marcia Linehan, to aid sufferers of chronically suicidal BPD (which is a potentially terminal mental illness) but has been adapted to be used in an array of mental illnesses, depression, addiction, anxiety, to name some. But it is also used by counsellors, to nip destructive thought patterns in the bud, before they lead to illness. There is lots of information online about it, and there is something to gain from it by everyone. I think you'd like it, that is if you haven't discovered it already, which I suspect you have.
Wow, that is some really great information! I completely understand the concept, but to see the scientific process takes it even deeper. I recognize that when I am thinking that the day is going to be long and stressfull, and change that to 'it's going to be a great day', I can physically feel my body change its entire demeanor. What I didn't realize was how much science is behind that. Knowing that really does make it easier, there are predetermined destinations, we just decide which route to take that day. I'll probably re-read your comment a few times 😁
Thank you for the great feedback and a fresh perspective!
Wow. Thank you. I really liked your post and that people have read it. We get so little education in western society on how to be emotionally healthy. Doctors mostly give out pills rather than therapy or emotional exercises. I have followed you and hope to see more of your insights in blogs.
Thank you so much for that, I really appreciate it! Very encouraging :) I agree 100%, so many people we all know are on some sort of 'fix it' pill. Don't get me wrong, mental health issues are real and there really are people who have needed a bit of help (including myself for a period of time). But there is so much more to mental and emotional health, and a lot of it really requires hard work on our part. Thanks so much for the feedback, following and looking forward to your pieces as well!
emotional control is the CAUSE of the problem. the only way to have balanced emotions is to unconditionally accept their expression - this allows them to be at peace, feel accepted and be lovingly evolved. you can read my on-going heart healing series here for more information: https://steemit.com/life/@ura-soul/heart-healing-series-1-a-guided-healing-meditation-from-the-heart-3
I will definitely check that out, thanks so much for the feedback!
you are welcome. <3
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