101 Ways to happiness - #34 Love and acceptance
A lot of talking is going on about what does it mean to love yourself? So simple question, but is it also so simple to answer?
To love yourself basically means that, first and foremost, we provide and satisfy all our needs and desires. It's just that simple. If we first serve and satisfy ourselves in everything, we are in love with ourselves.
So we will satisfy every expectation from ourselves, in no way to others. When we listen to ourselves and our inner feelings, we know that we have listened to ourselves. When we go beyond ourselves and our needs, we are satisfied with others needs and desires and consequently, we say NO to us. So, can you imagine that you are the best partner, lover, friend and ally to yourself? Is this even possible and feasible? Of course, it is. Ask yourself what is what you want to give yourself and just go for it!
But what if we don't know what do we want, how can we expect others to know that? If you are not in a clear communication with yourself, then others don't know what are you thinking and feeling. So clear purposes and clear communication lead to clear relations. When you'll clearly define what do you want from you, then you can create such relationships in other areas as well.
What about acceptance? Acceptance is something, which many don't even realize they don't do. Why? Because you are distributing yourself all the time. But how? We learned this from birth on. When they thought us to give to others, they also thought us to distribute ourselves. When we spend our time, our attitude to other people when we actually brake down all our borders in order to gain attention from other people. The other will not enjoy our company more or even like us more if we constantly adjust to them. Thus, it slowly becomes a one-sided-relationship - exploiting us for their benefit.
If you want acceptance, you have to first accept yourself. This means that you recognize all your bad feeling, the thoughts of guilt, thoughts of anger, the thoughts of love, compassion and joy. All this is you. You are a wide range and palette of your feelings from moment to moment. You can be different every day and you can feel different. You have every right to be what you are! Don't adjust with feelings of anger and wear a mask and be "fine and friendly". If you feel angry or sad in yourself, express it. This means in practice: "Listen, I'm angry at this moment for you, because you hurt me in my heart with your actions". But this doesn't mean crying. Nice and normal dialogue with the expression of your thoughts will do the job. Do you understand what I mean? If you will express yourself with compassion, you will receive backward compassion.
Don't be afraid to admit your feelings. No one will be offended if you tell him the truth you feel. And that's creating honest relationships. When you'll learn to accept yourself in the fullness of your being with you, you will be trully able to stand behind your truth with inner power.
The worst thing is to look at relationships that don't communicate. Today's trend of communications over phones and e-mails has led us to the fact that we have forgotten our inner feelings, that true genuine communication. So we have to learn to communicate with yourself so we will be able to communicate with others.
And the most important thing we can do is to build relationships without taboos and "masks". If you want to hide your feelings, others will never know how you feel up until the moment you explode.
So live life and not just spend it. Don't rob yourself of joy, happiness and magnificence. The only question is whether you are ready to raise this awareness and give yourself the opportunity to really live it? And think - what kind of relationships do you want to choose and what kind of relationships do you want to create?
Another good one @emmamia....lots to think about here. I grew up in an era where is was considered selfish to think of myself. So for years and years, I numbed feelings about myself and didn't understand or know what I was feeling.
I later learned to accept me for the way I was....me. Not what someone else said about me or how they misunderstood or judged me. I am me and I know me.
Taking care of myself physically, spiritually, mentally is loving myself.
Such a healthy way to see things. Thank you :)
Thank you for such long and thoughtful reply. It's hard to accept everything that defines us, but it's necessary. I really appreciate your words and thank you for taking time to read through.
You always give me something to think about.....keeps my brain alive :) I'm glad you like my long replies.
Excellent work! Looking forward to some exciting times ahead!
essential way of thinking..I hope men and women teach their children how to love, accept and care for their value, as we are all at the center of our world and nothings more important than taking perfect care of ourself..thats the way we can watch other people and deal with life with a perfect perspective..
mesmerising article @emmamia ..
thanks for sharing
Thank you for reading. I'm really glad you liked it.
amazing photos
I enjoyed reading this. becoming aware of my own feelings and accepting them was very important for me on my journey. Good to hear it explained so eloquently by someone else.
Thank you.I think that we deep inside we all knew this, but when we hear it from someone else's mouth we become more aware of it.