Building A Home

It is said that it is the way you lay your bed that you will sleep on it. That is true! "This is the reason why the formation of your home depends on the basis of your marriage.
By implication, if you prepare well for your marriage you will live well in it.

Many people enter into marriage today just because they are going out of time or because of the parental pressure on them or for political or job reason or in other to become a citizen of a country where they are alien or because of having children or to fulfill social demand etc; thereby entering into a problem.

Care must be taken to choose your partner and in Fact you need to commit everything to God in prayer and fasting. Mind you God will not change nor choose for you in a vacuum but He will appoint unto you that which you know or confirm that which you have.

Tell God about the woman or man you love and care for; the one that makes you smile and listen to His gentle voice and touching revelations concerning that person. If the person is not showing you any sign of love or at least consenting to marrying you, it is a bad signal -do not force yourself into such marriage.

In as much as you need God to guide You into the blessed union, do not compromise --at least Your love for that person.
Once again if your courtship is well rooted in God that same God will never leave you because HE stands as WITNESS between you and your wife/husband.

So to make your marriage not just a family but a home, you really need to put many things into consideration;

• Am I in love?

• Does he/she have respect for you?

• Is he/she a religious person?

• you share the same faith?

• Can you cope with his/her faith?

• Do I love his/ her person?

• Can I cope with his/ her family influence?

• What about his/ her friends, are they descent and disciplined?

• Is he/ she from a monogamous/polygamous home?

• Is his/ her job reliable?

• What is his/her educational background?

• Are we compatible in ideas and principles?

• Do we agree in the number of children we want?

• What about his/her blood genotype? can we
  close our eyes to it?

• Has he/ she any contagious or hereditary disease?

• Does he/she demand for romance and sex all the time?

• Can I cope with his/ her sexual attitude?

• Is he/she romantic?

• Can I live without him/ her?

Reading through the book: “Things to Consider before stepping into marriage” may be of great help. This aspect is very important because it will certainly determine what the marriage will turn out to be.

“To fail to prepare is to prepare to fail”

One of the reasons of marriage is to build a family which functions well as a Home. It is possible to build a house without marriage and it is possible to build a family without marriage but it may not be easy building a home which is founded on love without marriage.

You can build a mansion and each time you go in there, your heart prinks- you are disturbed and afraid in fact scared to enter your own house.
But there is no way you can be afraid of your home: home sweet home! It is a place where you always want to be, where you experience great peace of mind and body, where love is your food and happiness surrounds you.

It is a place of rest, a place of refuge. It is that which money cannot buy or build.
It is the whole principle of marriage where the mathematical equation 1+1+ X = 1 (where x is any number of children).

It is where Oneness is not found only between the husband and wife but also between the parents and the children. What have you: a house or a home?

No doubt you need money to do a lot of things and to buy lots of things. You can even win someone to be your wife or husband with money and money can earn you an adopted child -you may be so rich that you can build yourself a house or make a household; full of humans and properties. Yet with all these things money has gotten for you, you may never be satisfied or be happy about them all.

You are able to eat what you want and drink what you want to drink as much as you want, you wear any kind of dress and shoes as you so desire, riding the kind of car(s) you love even different cars for different occasions; but no amount of money can buy you a home. A home is built and not bought. So it is with marriage. When talking about marriage therefore, I mean the institution of marriage with the realization of its aims and purposes and effects -and not just keeping a woman or a man in a house.

The Druids will be outlining those things that a man and woman must know and do to make their marriage the formation of a Home -A family; a State without regrets despite the individual differences.

Marriage Counsellor