Things really are looking better, this is all new to me.

drakahn (40)in #life • 7 years ago

G'day Steemwhistles,

I had a setback today that normally would have annoyed me and not left my mind until I was in one of my (many different) messed up states, but it didn't.

It was a good day at TAFE, at the end of which the teacher I complained about in a previous post approached me to continue the debate. I got to confirm that was too set in his ways to budge, I asked him who he would hire out of a programmer with certificates but unable to show real skill in an interview and has no portfolio, or a programmer with no formal education but that has a portfolio of solid work and can show skills in an interview, he said he would never hire someone that didn't have a formal education... Really dude? I mean, I know it is his job to sell formal education, but that scenario was a gimme.

Fun times, but we aren't there yet, I decided I was going to get my ID today, I haven't had ID in a few years and I would like to go to clubs again, now that I am not hiding from social situations any more, so I found a place near the TAFE to go to, two train stations away, easy...

Nope, there was a fire somewhere down the tracks that delayed the trains and their solution was to seemingly randomly change which line each train was, so every station had masses of people getting off because it was no longer their train and masses getting on because their last train was changed here, so those two stops were painful enough, then the bus left just as I got to the stop, screw it I'll walk, I can take the heat, even if I did wear black jeans and a black shirt today, okay.

It was easy to find, one annoyance avoided, but it was packed and there was no solid line, just a mishmash of people getting served randomly, just to get told what button to press on a ticket machine which was pretty self explanatory, if you just let people choose their own ticket those that need help will ask and it would move a lot quicker.

Then, after everything, there was a problem and I cannot get ID yet, a little more work to do. It was no ones fault, complaining would not have helped, so I said thank you anyway and left, to another bus leaving just as I got there, this one I know saw me waving at him... Where I live is known as a 'shithole', often referred to as a ghetto in jest, but damned if the people here aren't a thousand times nicer and more polite than those in the city and close suburbs, anyway, time to repeat that walk in the clothes not made for a Sydney summer afternoon, these trains are going to suck again aren't they?

By some lovely twist of fate, every time the train switched to a different line, it was to the one I needed or its alternate(same destination different line), so my trip home had no changing trains as it normally would, and it skipped a bunch of stops to boot, I am starting to remember why I used to say "The universe provides" a lot, back in my home turf the bus is about to leave the stop, the driver see's me waving, and he waits, I don't think he has seen me before, but he waited.

With the day I had had, getting home could have gone many ways, Kelly has had her new guy friend over for a while, to the point I was ready to ask when he was going to start paying rent, and she gets in moods sometimes, so I never know what to expect, though the new me doesn't take any shit, and doesn't respond in kind either, so lately the range has been anywhere between friendly and rude, but not like when I used to take it, I just shut the door if she isn't in a good mood.

And... I came home to not only a good mood, but an answer to the question I hadn't asked yet, He needed help and Kelly assumed it would be okay with me if he stayed, and I am, I would be upset if I found out the needing help was a lie, but I won't assume someone asking for help is lying without a reason, so of course, if she can be good mood Kelly talking to me while he is here then it doesn't effect me, I already had to put on pants to walk around, bonus with the less rent as well.

So things are good, and I am not sure what to do with good, my (often extreme and uncalled for) reactions to bad have dulled, my anxiety is still alive and kicking but not so much about social situations, I still have paranoia about everyone, and everything, Hello DARPA scientist testing your cameras that look like flies, have you worked out how to fit a lethal dose of something in a fly sized drone yet?... Where was I? Oh yeah, I still have my problems, I am still bad at social situations, but I don't hide from them anymore, and I don't let my problems control me anymore, and this has all happened kind of fast so I hope my mental state isn't a yoyo.