I am Still Alive

I came back from the dead. I've been inactive on Steemit for more than 2 weeks now and I know this is not Me. Not that people really care about that though. I guess I just feel guilty and it's like I don't know how to write anymore. I was just busy trying to make a living or trying to live amongst the living. We all know that Steem is at its lowest at the moment and it's quite disheartening. This has greatly affected me in many ways as I used to live off Steemit. But, this is not really the reason that I stopped writing. It's not because Steem price is so low. I just had to find other ways to make money and I didn't have time to sit in front of the computer for longer periods. I also have new neighbors who are partying every night and are quite a distraction. I just lost my peace and silence. I also started hosting travelers on couchsurfing just so I could get some tour bookings and commissions. Most of the time, I was out and about showing people around and taking care of business.

The great thing is that I am still surviving. I still have my cat and a roof over my head thankfully. I am still working on my venture. There are a lot of things I haven't shared about my entrepreneurial life because it's getting a bit more complicated these days. There are a lot of changes in the town due to tourism regulations and government policies. And because of these changes, I realize that I have to change my line of business from being a "Travel Agency" to a "Tour Operator". There are a lot of things I need to work on like legal stuff and paperwork. And it's all making me crazy.

It's all making me crazy because I have no funds and I'm doing everything on my own. Then I thought, do I have other options aside from achieving my goals and heading towards the financial stability direction? I believe I don't like the alternatives. I don't function very well if I am doing something that I don't like. I don't like to go back to a 9-5 desk job, live in the city or travel aimlessly again. I might as well just rot somewhere and be effortlessly forgotten. I am either just going there or not.

My decision to change my line of business is due to the fact that a service provider messed up big time. They made a lot of mistakes and cannot live up to my standards anymore. I cannot risk my online reputation by continuing the partnership. Anyway, there were no contracts that have been signed so I try to find other providers. I faced a lot of rejections and scrutiny by the townfolks. I'm actually just here waiting to be torched. I am still here mainly because I have thick skin. And maybe, I cannot be burned that easily.

I know that there's a possibility that not everyone is like my unreliable service provider. And not everyone is bad. But you know how it works in small towns, everyone can just be the same. Or most if not everyone. I guess I cannot risk having to entrust all tours and services to them and so the only way is to just be an independent operator. In this way, I can reap the rewards for setting the standards and for trying to be different.

At some point, I have to decide if I want to be a sheep or a wolf. I guess I am facing the consequences of being a lone wolf now. My world is getting smaller and colder. As a human being, I still yearn for a meaningful connection. It is just hard when you are in business. It is hard when you know exactly what you want.

There's also the creeping rent, bills to pay, groceries, and business expenses for the next tax year. I can't wait for the time that someone else has to do these things for me. I am now looking into other options for making some money I can use for scaling my business - like selling properties. In a major tourist destination and one of the most visited islands in the world, buying a property here would be like sitting on the rocking chair forever. Oh yes, if only I can sell one, just one, maybe I will be good. I will be able to buy my own piece of land too and not be roaming around homeless. So, if you know anyone who wants to invest in a property (for a resort, hotel or a beach house), just let me know on discord! Note: we have to trust each other - that's the thing!

I might not be able to write regularly as I used to or maybe I can but just once a week now. If I get past this difficult thing of getting a whole new business permit, hopefully, I will be able to write again. Before the end of the year, I will post the goals that I was able to accomplish this year, like a year-end review of my achievements. Then I will post my new goals for the next year. I believe that everything is going to be fine as always. I miss all my followers and I hope everyone is doing great out there - wherever you guys are!