| The boy who had a dream #2 | Surrendering stage fright
I was taught not to be frightened of things I cannot control. Not to show exactly how scared I truly am, to man the hell up each time I was faced with dread, no matter the circumstances.
There is a peculiar sort of unspoken theory that in order to escape fear, we have to go through it, dissipate it at its essence. I used to feel nervous before every performance. My fingers began to tremble and my mind would turn void, gasping for air as I felt the weight of one hundred elephants on my chest. The inner child in me was shedding silent tears of fright, while the public in front of me saw me for whom I wasn't. Every time I stepped on the stage, I was faced with two possibilities that were polar opposites both fighting for their own turn, pacing between fight or flight syndrome, choosing always the latter, a never-ending turmoil.
At some point, I got tired of this feeling of inconsistency. Still being reluctant, I changed my way of looking at things. Rather than fighting my stage fright, I started working with it. This opened the door to a whole new world where I feel more connected with everything when I'm on stage, and, ultimately, more connected to myself.
Taking one's time was essential in dealing with my stage fright. It took a lot of self-work, breathing techniques and sometimes a little help of plum brandy :)
Since I talked about stage fright, it would be only fair to leave you with a few snapshots from my last gig. It was a very special one, as it was my first concert in my hometown after a while. Photos are taken by Beauty and the Rat's official photographer a.k.a my wife a.k.a @szuri
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[BONUS - Here's a song that I wrote]
If you want to watch my journey, you can follow me @demostene. Thank you!
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