Personal and Family Secrets: Hide or tell them?

Sometimes lies can help protect other people from the painful truth. But what secrets should you keep? How will this affect the relationship?

Secrets have a tremendous influence on man. After experiencing an emotional trauma you do not want to tell a partner about it. The feeling of guilty and fearful fears that your relatives will start to think worse about you than they are now is about to emerge. Moreover, it is feared that negative information may be used against the one who reveals the secret.

Secrets take up a lot of space in the mind, never allow you to completely relax, plunge into work and love. The longer they are concealed, the stronger the negative impact they will have.

Here's an example: a woman did not want to tell her husband that in her youth, she was attacked by a maniac. She is ashamed of this episode of her life. The psychologist diagnosed her with so-called functional infertility. However, shortly after the client decided to disclose the truth to her spouse, the problem was gone and the woman succeeded.

If you do not personally feel what secrets are possible, you've probably noticed how emotionally, physically and even financially affects close people who have to keep them safe. Storing secrets is very detrimental to a person's psychological well-being. Permanent doubts and anxieties lead to neuroses.

If you reveal a secret to a person you know, it soon becomes fearful that he can tell it to someone. Growing in distrust of other people, sometimes without reason. In addition, disclosure of a secret can become a victim of blackmail. For example, if a secret is disclosed to a spouse who subsequently terminates the marriage, the offending former partner can take revenge.

The secret is to be revealed at the right time and in the right place. Without the right time, there is a risk of divorce with a person who can be very shocked by that secret. It is possible to expect sympathy and support in the revealing of the secret in a delicate and in the right place. Sometimes it can even intensify the relationship. It is advisable to ask another person to ask yourself a few questions before revealing the secret:

Does another person expect you to admit him to someone? Did he mention that he knows something about the secret you are keeping? If he has already talked about this, he may know more than you are raving.

Can you name a person (spouse, mother, child) who you could fully trust in to reveal his secret? How did he respond in the past when you discovered similar, secret stories? First, check his reaction and then decide if it's worth securing.

What are you losing Evaluate your current situation. You will probably feel relieved. Family members may receive explanations from questions that you do not answer from strangers. Then the truth can be distorted. A person who has heard such a "truth" may be very disappointed with you, you will not be afraid and will not want to have anything to do with you. Let it be better to hear from you, and not from people who were not directly related to it and do not know how it really was.

What scary is your secret? Maybe you tend to exaggerate and the secret is not as serious as you look?