I am just holding it together really @whitearcana and I believe I had kept this struggle long enough and now wanted to bail out for good because the fight just got uglier.
Just thanks for the love I get especially from my parents who really are the hand of God for me on this world, plus some steemit friends around the world who seem to know and feel what I feel, otherwise they would just ignore and go on for the next post or so. Then they show support and I do value that and thankful for at least I won't worry about some of the financial aspect of my problems.
Thank and I appreciate your support and prayers. I do believe in miracles but I would ask the bringer of it that a miracle is too late now, the bringer can give it to the next fellow who needs it maybe more than I.