Living does hurt. Did you ever see that movie Inside Out? It's all about emotions in case you didn't. It's a kids movie but I got so much out of it. Joy and Sadness work together - apart they are manic joy and depressed sadness. I forget where I was going with this. Ugh. I'm sorry about your friend - grief takes time and the pain never really does go away, it just lessens. Maybe the sun will come out soon.