Birthdays, October, Perspective, Learn something.

i don't know when it started, its been so long since i decided to somehow commit myself to decisions most would find annoying to say the least.
i started by becoming vegetarian.... no... if i recall right i started by isolate myself, yeah i guess that's the first thing i started doing, i don't know why, well for this i know why but its too personal to share so.
the second thing i did is becoming vegetarian, yeah now im in the right track, i don't know why for this and i'm not trying to hide or something, i really don't know why, its been 3years since i ate meat, or anything that can be considered member of the animal kingdom. a few weeks ago i wondered why i became like this, i don't remember to be honest, and i considered the possibility of eating meat however i thought "if i made this decision and held myself into it for this long then why should i stop now, i knew what i was doing and i believe it was for a good reason so i'll keep going", along the lines i lost alot of things, a lot of things.
i like philosophy, generally i feel like i see the world in a different way compared to others, well, that doesn't bother me most of the times.
October, i don't like this month, i'm trying to make this as short as possible so some parts of this text might give you a slightly wrong idea of who i am, however i don't care.
October, i feel like it wouldn't be exaggerating if i said that i hate this month, every year in this month something bad MUST happen to me, mostly is car accidents which i have somehow always managed to escape, October its like a death trial to me so i don't like this month.
October, i lost way too much, objects, knowledge somehow, and... people, i lost al
October, i feel like it wouldn't be exaggerating if i sot of persons, friends, family, persons i just knew... even this year this month i lost persons whom are dear to me, i don't like October.
Birthdays at some point i felt like my life was a lie, i felt like i was just a puppet, i felt manipulated. When i was i believe 14years old i started to wonder why i liked birthdays, the parties, the gifts, why?
I didn't, that wasn't me, i'll try to make this quick so bear with me just a little longer.
What i realised is that actually i was asked if i wanted a birthday party or gifts or something my family assumed it was something they had to do and they did, my young and naive me just accepted because it was funny entertaining, i had gifts... but that wasn't a decision i made based on logic or a good amount of time spent on processing it, i mean my family never gave me the data about birthdays first, i mean they didn't explain me the concept of birthdays so i can make a decision whether i want it to like remembered, celebrated or not.
So when i started to think about i came to the conclusion that i really do not like birthdays, i don't care. It is just a day, it will have 24hours, the day of the week wont change to your name, the sun wont shine brighter, you wont get smarter, your D/P wont get larger nor smaller(i hope), the sun will rise and will settle, the moon will come if it is in the right phase, and in fact a lot more people was born in this exact day so much for "a special day right?".
so i decided not to have birthdays parties, or anything, hell i wished i could forget this date. so with this i wanted to just show a different point of view about this event, hope you learn something, i'm not in any manner criticizing this event, don't get me wrong on this, i respect the concept however, it is just not for me so...
So i decided that in my birthday i would just do the things i usually do nothing more and nothing less, except for writing this today.

OH yeah today is my birthday. so what does this says about me???