Heart Mom Diaries: The Day of Discovery

Having been a mother of a healthy first-born child, I was very complacent that everything will be normal with my second child. I gave birth in our Barangay Birthing Clinic wherein the midwife was my uncle's wife. I even had an easier labor and delivery and was even fit to be sent home less than 12 hours after giving birth. I felt so happy and relieved that I got to deliver safely and thanked God for the healthy baby girl.

All was well (or as we thought it was) and we lived life as if everything was normal. My baby girl was thriving and was even bigger than her kuya (big brother). She was a good sleeper (if there is such thing), was not sickly and was a good baby (my definition of a good baby = she seldom cries) in general. There were times, she was being fussy but never was I alarmed because she looks healthy. It was on her 6th month when I noticed that she hardly likes eating and is barely gaining weight. I felt like it was just normal because she is teething and just continued with our 'normal lives'.

My baby girl, then started to learn how to walk. At that time, I noticed something was different with her. Aside from walking slowly, she often squats and breathes heavily. And then one ordinary day turned into a big twist in our lives. My daughter was 2 and was eating cereals at that time when all of the sudden, she was crying with no sounds, it was as if she was having trouble breathing. I did not know what to do. I tried to seek help but I was alone that day with my kids. I tried to console her as I saw my daughter's body getting stiff. Her nails and lips were bluish. After that terrible incident, when she recovered, I asked her what she felt, where's her 'yayay' (pain) was and then she pointed to her heart. I was feeling a lot of emotions and I don't even know what to do. I called my husband and told him what happened. We rushed to the emergency room and after the interview, she was checked and right there and then, the doctors noticed a heart murmur. I felt something's wrong and knew then from their faces that it's not a good thing. We were asked to have a series of laboratory exams for them to confirm if my daughter really has a Congenital Heart Disease. After the X-ray and 2D-Echo results, as much as I would like to remain positive, I felt so cold when the doctors told me that my daughter has a Tetralogy of Fallot.

Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF) is a congenital heart defect that is present at birth. Symptoms include episodes of bluish color to the skin. When affected babies cry or have a bowel movement, they may develop a "tet spell" where they turn very blue, have difficulty breathing, become limp, and occasionally lose consciousness. Other symptoms may include a heart murmur, finger clubbing, and easy tiring upon breastfeeding.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetralogy_of_Fallot

That day was like the end of the world for me. My daughter was diagnosed with a Complex Heart Disease that needs to be operated for her to survive. I asked why her? Why us? I cried and cried and felt sorry for my daughter. I prayed hard to God even if I felt as if I was forsaken. My heart was crushed but yet, I fought. I know God won't send me to a battle empty-handed. The struggle was real, but so was God. ♥

#BraveHeartZOE