Keep my head above water (Part 1)

One of my favorite artists ever since I was a child is Avril Lavigne. Just today, she released the music video for her brand new single “Head Above Water”. I’ve already heard the song days ago, since it was already released prior to the music video. When I first heard the song, I was so mindblown and speechless. It’s so beautiful and I can’t stop being so proud of Avril. I have been obsessed with the song for the past few days now and I just know that the music video will be even more stunning.

Today, the video was released. I watched the video this morning and I lost it.

It was beyond stunning.

Avril is still so beautiful. And the video location was breathtaking. For me, the video was such a wonderful complement to the song.

The first time I watched the video, I couldn’t help but tear up. Tears of joy, because I am so proud of Avril for being so strong to write this song despite what she’s going through, and tears of gratefulness, because the song brought me back to a similar situation.

God, keep my head above water

A week ago, there was this one night when, as soon as I arrived home from work, I cried. Hard.

In the first few seconds of what eventually became a cryfest, I thought I was crazy. I was trying to look back at the day that just passed, and I couldn't remember anything that may have triggered these tears. In fact, my day started out great because of a good news that I received that I wasn't really expecting.

But, in between the tears, I was still wondering. Why did I just cry all of a sudden? Why do these tears won't stop falling?

Fast forward to later that night, I found myself having my dinner inside my room, because I couldn't stop crying. Washed up (while still crying), and then put myself to bed...still crying.

The tears kept coming and by the time I fell asleep, I started to realize why the tears wouldn't stop.

I was tired. Or, rather, I am tired. I have been feeling tired.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Have you experienced crying for a reason that isn't apparent at first? Have you found yourself confused by the circumstances that you’re in? Have you ever felt so tired, that you just broke down?

I know I have.

After that night, I woke up, went on with my day as if I didn’t have an episode the night before. I thought to myself, “I did not have the right to take some time off and process this”. So, I had to keep moving, because every second counted, and the world won’t stop revolving even if I wished for even just a few mins to rest.

But, eventually, I realized that I bawled my eyes out because I was tired and I did not know what to do about it. I was almost drowning, and I did not know how to swim.

That's basically what the song, "Keep my head above water", is about.

The inevitability of what seems to be an impossible situation, the real possibility of experiencing difficulty while in that situation, and the acknowledgement that the situation is beyond you.

This song is a great reminder that we are not alone. And, I want to thank Avril for this great reminder.

Part 2 of my realization can be found here.