Continuing forward when you've given all you have

Working in the IT field can be a very stressful job across all rungs of the corporate totem pole. When things are going right you’re a nobody but the moment things go wrong every eye is on you and they’re all looking at you through crosshairs.

It’s funny how I started down this path because it was something that I loved, and to some respect do still love, but no longer love on my free time. Requests from friends and family to hook up their new smart tv or take care of a pop up on their computer are pushed as far into the future as possible to avoid having to continue work “afterhours”. But really is there such a thing as “afterhours” when working in IT? My phone is attached to me 24/7, my company email is on every computer, every device, I’m always connected always working. But to me that isn’t the problem. See I was raised that you work hard for what you want and put in your time and you will be rewarded. Sadly that idea, that fact, died with my parents’ generation. That’s not to say that when you work for yourself your hard work doesn’t directly affect your outcome but when you work for someone else you simply open yourself up to be used. I could go back through so many of my jobs and point out all the times I was used to better the business then cast aside once things started looking up but the time that really hit home happened just today.

Three years ago I started working for this small time mom and pop IT company that could barely keep themselves in the black. I was originally hired on as a bottom of the rung technician but quickly rose to management as I gave them hopes of turning a profit. Changes in policies and procedures here, expense cutting there and all of a sudden I had increased what the company was making yearly by almost 200k while subsequently decreasing expenses. Life was good, we were streamlined, nimble, and could adapt as needed to continue to increase profits. But good never seems to be good enough. The owners had decided that profits weren’t increasing fast enough while we broke into a new market. In a matter of two months I went from riding a tidal wave of success to being demoted and a new hotheaded manager was brought it. You know the type, could sell a lifetime supply of sand to a man stranded in the desert, and liked to go off halfcocked more than think things through. But he promised them big money so he got the reigns. Within two weeks he fired over half the staff and left the few of us still standing to almost triple our work load. Sure when you increases prices by close to 75% and fire 80% of your staff your books are going to look amazing and that was all he needed. The only thing that kept me going was the promise of part ownership in the company and a decent paying salary position if I got us through this restructuring as a reward for my dedication and hardwork.

So three months later, after working somewhere between 90-120 hours a week, with no overtime pay I might add (I was still hourly and eligible for OT), my fiancé leaving me due to my horrible work/life balance, and still managing to have some of the highest number months in company history, it comes time for that wonderful talk. The talk that will make all of this hell worthwhile. Until that is, I sit down and am told that I just really didn’t perform well enough for part ownership but here’s a dollar raise for all your hard work. Sure the dollar raise was nice (even if I was still being paid peanuts), and honestly probably the only thing that kept me from telling them where to shove my job, but again I felt like I had been used.

Fast forward a year and the name of the company changes in an effort to rebrand it for the better after the backlash of a 75% price increase. The “manager”, pulling more of his tricks, has had new incorporation documents made up for the new company with only his name on them. He literally stole the company like a pirate steals a treasure. But still I stay because I love what I do and I still believe in the company. Going into June our new supreme leader has the wonderful idea that we’re going to open up a new branch down in Florida for all the snow birds. Honestly a plan I could get behind, except for the fact that he wanted to open it ASAP which meant by July 5th we had a new location right outside of Miami for all the snow birds that don’t come down until October. He poured all the company money and resources into getting it open, actually who am I kidding, he poured all the company money into a nice penthouse hotel and an unlimited bar tab for him and his “assistant” for almost the entire month. All the while I’m standing on my little soap box in the corner screaming about contingency plans and poor timing. Needless to say by September the location in Florida was shut down and the company was almost out of money. So once again I step up and start making changes. Admittedly not the changes I wanted to because my hands were still being tied by Stalin but little things that I knew I could do without him knowing. Increased incentives for sales, better prices buying parts I knew we would need in bulk, you know the little things that eventually add up to the company was able to tread water again.

Another year forward and by this point I’ve been moved to heading up all IT on the new side project the owner thought of that was going to make millions. Honestly it could have and should have had he not been the one calling the shots. The IT company slowly sits there sinking farther and farther into the ocean as less and less resources are being spent on it and I continue to fight for my first passion as once again contingencies are needed. That is until the new project ends up over a million dollars in debt and belly up and all of a sudden everything falls on the IT company. Again I’m given the reigns and this time I’m told I’m free to do what I need. Honestly everything is like second nature and things start to fall into place. I’ve doubled income and cut expenses and only raised prices $10 or roughly 0.5%. Things were finally starting to look good again.

Until today. Today I get the wonderful phone call that our supreme leader will be taking some time away from his beach house and prostitutes to restructure the company. Over half the staff will be fired and replaced with people who he can pay minimum wage (have you ever tried hiring someone to work IT for minimum wage? It doesn’t exist if you want quality) but don’t worry you’ll still have a job but I’m going to need you to do your job plus the job of two other people, oh and you’ll now be working 12 hour days. Talk about fucking déjà vu.

So here I stand with no energy to continue farther. Quitting isn’t an option as I have bills to pay and a family to support, but can I really deal with this all over again? Slowly realizing that giving your all to a company doesn’t get you anywhere other than maybe to the bottom of a bottle and an early grave. The employees not respecting management is something that is getting thrown around more and more but how can you respect someone that doesn’t reciprocate. We’re not employees, we’re not valued, we’re simply expendable meat bags that allow this company to run. We’ve given it our all, we’ve seen good people fired for no reason other then they cost too much money, smart people run because they can’t take anymore, and worst of all the lives of everyone left turned upside down and put through hell. No matter what I decide and where I go will I continue to give it my all? Of course, it’s ingrained in me, I don’t know any other way.