Unlock the Self-Love
My last post explored step 1 of how to get ready to love -- love yourself, that is. If you haven't read step 1 yet, you might want to go back and read it first.
This post, of course, dives into step 2 of this process. Let us begin.
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Step 2 - Unlock the Self-Love
Now that you know you need to love yourself first and foremost, and now that you agree with why this is, you can move on to watching that love unfold before your very eyes.
If you instantly want to know if you are on the right path or if you have been doing a good job of stopping your negative thoughts and behavior, it's very simple indeed. All you have to do is look at how you are feeling. Are you still feeling any negative emotions on a consistent basis? I'm not talking about flashes of negativity here and there; that's normal and might not ever completely stop. What I'm talking about are your default feelings. If you can say that you have been feeling good more than bad, you are on your way to uncovering the self-love you need and deserve.
If you are still feeling mostly negativity, it's important not to get angry at yourself because that will set you back even more. By layering negative emotions on top of existing negative emotions, you are giving the negativity undeserving magnitude, and you would be delaying your progress. It's best to take a step back and focus on thinking about nothing at all again until you can reach for the positive. Go back to step 1 for as long as you need to; there is no shame in it.
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After you confirm that you feel positive, good feelings a majority of the time, this is when your life will really start to take off -- especially when it comes to relationships (all sorts of relationships, not just romantic types.) You will notice that you can start to have fulfilling, effortless, amazing interactions with other people, but also that their words and actions matter less than they used to. As a result, you feel less hurt or not hurt at all when others misbehave. You stop taking things personally, but at the same time start feeling more compassion and empathy for others.
You will also notice that the right people start to flow into your life, and the wrong people make a swift exit. Anyone you already know in your life who loves you and who is there rightfully will instantly strengthen their bond with you. The unconditional love of your pets, for example, really starts to shine through. The relationship with your children will transform into something better than you ever imagined, if it's in the position to do so.
Really, I am serious. I am not making this stuff up.
In fact, everything gets better, on all fronts. And now you don't feel obligated to put up with other peoples' nonsense anymore. It's a win-win situation.
As long as you remain true to who you are and prioritize feeling good/loving yourself, nothing that anyone else ever says, does or stands for will take you off your happy path. And that happy path will continue getting happier and happier.
During this step 2, you know the love you feel for yourself is the only constant you can be sure of in your life and you feel joy in knowing this. When you have mastered steps 1 and 2, you wouldn't want things any other way.
Everyone feels unconditional self-love, but not everyone realizes that they feel this way because their thoughts are too clouded. By getting rid of the crap thoughts and beliefs that don't serve us, the self-love that lives inside all of us is automatically released; it's as simple as that. I know this is true because I kept mine under lock and key for the longest time.
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Sometimes I wonder why I did that to myself. Why did I keep myself from the love I possess? Why did I struggle so much when it wasn't necessary? Because somehow I wanted to, I guess. I'm of the belief we don't get or experience anything that we don't want somehow or another.
On a personal note, when I cleaned up my thoughts and beliefs about myself, I finally realized my self-love has been here all along and that it can never be taken away from me. Realizing this gives me such a sense of power and dignity.
Someone else can decide to revoke their love for me or even let me know they never loved me to begin with, but the love that I feel for myself is eternally mine and so much greater than anything that person could offer me. If you're reading this (you know who you are), I don't say it because I'm bitter; I say it because it's true. I say it from a place of understanding and appreciation. Thank you for not loving me and for never telling me the truth; I now realize you never had the ability to do either of those things. I love myself, and without the ordeal with you, I never would have known it. I hope one day you, too, can discover that you love yourself.
Yes, I was really down from my last heart break. But I took a step to atleast love myself. I learned the things I never thought I could like this, engaging myself in poetry. I never thought I could really write. Also, I observed I received more blessings when I learned to let myself in .
That's great. Is this a recent discovery or did it happen a while ago?
A recent discovery :)
Wonderful post as usual @cali-girl. You hit it on point I think with that simple "test" of whether you feel good more than you feel bad. As simple as all this sounds it can take a long time to understand and impliment self love.
What we're feeling never lets us down. :)