How to Get Ready to Love
In my last post of this sort, I promised to answer some questions about how to become ready to love and know ourselves and what this process looks like from my perspective.
Photo source: pixabay.com
It has been my experience that I can't just automatically feel inner joy and self-love as if I'm flipping a switch on. It hasn't worked that way for me at all. I've had to ease myself into feeling it and slowly convince myself that this is the right decision. After all, everything external does its best to convince all of us that joy and love are also external; this is the biggest yet most common lie that the general population believes.
The people who say you have to just "get happy" one day don't know what they are talking about. However, they are right about "getting happy" being the answer to our problems. They are so close to the truth, yet so far away. That is, they know the solution, but they don't know how to go about finding that solution in a way that will lead to genuine and eternal happiness.
Step 1 - Get Ready and Be Selfish
This step doesn't make anyone feel pressure to start the self-love process, but only to come to terms with its importance.
In order to get ready to love oneself, we have to understand that all love stems from this self-love and that no other love is possible without self-love first serving as a foundation. Understanding how important undertaking this quest for self-love is, is the first step in achieving it. This step is basically allowing you to get ready to get ready to get ready. Think of this step as a gentle mental massage that will aid in getting the love flowing later. Are you with me so far?
Photo source: pixabay.com
This step is a time to stop beating up on yourself -- if that's what you've been doing. If you can't muster up the ability to think positive yet, do know that even neutral or no thoughts are better at this point than negativity. Meditation is great during this phase (and during all the other steps as an ongoing tool), but it's especially helpful now. I'm not talking about becoming a Buddhist or anything like that, but only suggesting that meditation is a way to reach yourself so you can feel clarity.
The whole idea during this step is to break your old habits and circular thought processes that are stopping you from loving yourself. Anything that is negative or doesn't feel good to you is hindering your ability to love yourself and needs to stop. You can stop thinking about something negative by refusing to turn your thoughts to it for a few seconds and gradually work your way up to a few minutes, until you're not thinking about it at all. If that doesn't work, you can try thinking about something else that is pleasant.
If this step sounds selfish, that's because it is. Loving yourself is the ultimate selfish behavior, but it is required if any form of selflessness is ever going to come from you. Is it true that selfishness and selflessness are two sides of the same coin?
Tend to your own garden and suddenly you will realize how easy it is to contribute to the flourishment of another's garden.
Photo source: pixabay.com
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @clayboyn and has been upvoted and will be featured in the weekly philosophy curation post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
I discovered I can do better when I learned to let go of things that hurt me and when I learned to love myself even more.
A lot of times people don't hurt us on purpose, but being collateral damage is often a side effect of opening ourselves up to loving others. If we're secure in our self-love then being collateral damage won't affect us as much.
We do have to let go of things that hurt us because I'm of the opinion that things can only hurt us when you give them permission to do so. Therefore, letting go of it is simply taking back our power. It's not easy to let go of what hurt you, but with practice we get better at it.
Really, the hard thing about letting go is the memories you are holding to. But maybe soon, things would be better for us. Thank you for the advice
I think there is no need to completely ditch memoires. I doubt anyone could ever do that. Memories can be a good thing if you choose to remember the parts of them that make you feel joyful and appreciative while not dwelling on the bad aspects. No memory can be all bad, right? For example, even if it's a mostly terrible memory, you could choose to focus on what you learned from the experience. Focusing on what you've learned and how you've grown will stop you from feeling crummy and even help you remember the person or situation in a new, better light.
Or so I'm told. ;)
Wow, thank you for the thought. I'll agree to keep the good memories our inspiration in doing good . It'll be great going back to the times that made us laugh, crazy and worth the time.
Love it. I found true love when I decided to do what I loved and found someone who was already on the path I wanted to be on. In order to find that though you need to be secure in what your wants and needs are.
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I've gotten much happier since I've taken to vanlife, which is a pretty selfish way to live (naysayers tell me). But why am I happier? Is it because it's just so cool and sexy? No! Mainly I'm happier because I've organized my life in such a way that I'm not working too hard, getting more exercise, being outdoors and in clean air more, sleeping more and in quieter places, being with my dog, and having more time to think. For me, sane living is a prerequisite to a sane mind. ... I'm not advocating vanlife so much as simpler living, as simple as your circumstances allow.
I'm with you @vanholio! I actually admire the way you live and would attempt something similar if I didn't have a kid in high school at the moment. As you said, though, simpler living isn't necessarily vanlife and I'll try to find some ways to simplify things in my life that are complicated for no good reason. Do you envision yourself continuing down the vanlife path forever or just for a long while?
Indefinitely. How I live it is already changing. I'm becoming less interested in traveling large distances and looking at tourist attractions. I'm becoming more interested in a traveling within a smaller territory, looking into more nooks and crannies, and hiking more. Long term ... not sure. I don't want a more complicated life, but maybe at some point I'll get a remote place where I can have a tiny house and a garden.
nice post.
Great post! Come with me!
Nice troughs, waiting for step two :)
Feels 🙌🏼
Thank you!
Waiting for the step two(winks)
It's coming...as soon as I can articulate it correctly.