"Epiphany"

"When I’m old and I’m grey and I’ve been through it all
Ask me what I’ve learnt, I'll say I’ve learnt life;
Pick up my book of rhymes, blow it and watch the dirt rise,
Looking down at earth from a birds eye.
Searching, but searching for what?
Searching for the purpose, the words and the worth that we lost.
My eyes ain't awake and my mind's in a place where you can
Get what you ask for every time that you pray.
Some want world peace, some want ice and a chain;
Some want wealth, some want help finding a way -
And we got it - just imagine, we all got it."

• Solomon in Digital Kids(Vicktor Taiwo)
  (Like R&B? Cheggit! ^_^ )

Heard this song roughly a month ago and every day's been quite a journey since. Today, it reminds me of a piece that I wrote three years and 343 days ago. It is an account of an occurrence that will certainly remain just as significant to me on my death bed as it was while it happened - just as significant as it is to me today - and as it has been for every day of my life ever since.

August 03, 2013.

That dreaded moment when you realize that you're here for nothing but to bring continuity to the chain of existence of humankind - everything changes. The light at the end of the tunnel begins to appear too far – within you, yet too far. Questions begin to occupy and eventually dominate your mental space. Answers give rise to more questions.

It was me, along with trusty amigos from baby days, S & P. And we teleported into an alternate universe 30 minutes after we sipped on our coffee. It was a pleasant journey, though, for someone who's encountering life without an artificial layer of perception for the very first time. We had never seen this coming. I had never seen this coming. I began to look at everything around. That a dysfunctional red wheel withheld stories of good and bad fortune, I did not know until that moment. That everything had life, I did not know. That God lived within me in the form of my conscience, I did not know. Not until then. My sense of belongingness to this universe suddenly amplified to infinity, and I was more comfortable with existence than I'd ever been before.

I looked around - my universe oscillating in synchronized disharmony. I realized I was blind - that I was blind all along. (And I probably still am?) It wasn't too long before I could decipher (whatever little I could of) what the universe was trying to tell me. Clouds burst, bringing into existence the infinite raindrops that live their life span as they drop from the sky only to perish in form when they meet the soil that holds itself beneath our feet - to bring to life, the life that surrounds us.

The cycle. The universe is an organization of function. Everything happens for a reason. Everything is in perfect alignment but we only choose to ignore such beauty. We only choose to want more. Ambition or greed? Now no more than a compulsion to me. A compulsion to every soul that is striving to feel alive in the midst of a community of billions of derailed consciousnesses - “Society”.

I watched coconut tree branches sway windward in amity with one another - every motion relatively well attuned - and there was may be half a thousand of them - dancing in euphoria. I could finally see the bigger picture. See how everything has life. I wasn't as blown away as I felt comfortable with this change. I took change as it came, realizing then that it was the only reality. I am now comfortable with my reality. That artificial layer of conditioned perception has been destroyed. In a - POOF!

We know, life goes on. We know we crave acceptance, fame, money, sex and love. What we (probably) don't give enough credit to is the fact that love and intelligence are the two constant survivors - everlasting, forever growing in size and power - and yet, sometimes, today, love and intelligence contradict each other within the realms of their coexistence with each other.

(Your being is made of a soul that is screaming because it wants to be heard. Listen to your soul. All it wants is to be loved. By you. There is nothing bigger than love. What does continue to live on after one's physical self perishes is the soul.)

I realized everything is the way you're looking at it. And so, everything IS. Death won't come in the way of life and if you exist, you are omnipotent just as the universal consciousness is. Death will only bring life to what actually matters.

The universe is an example - a proof of continuity - evolution. You are the point of origin of all that is good and you are the point of origin of all that is bad in your universe and yet, you are not how everything came into existence. You're somehow responsible even when you're not. And although you're not responsible, you still are.

Desire. You want nothing and yet, you wish you had what they have.

Self-realization is a difficult journey with the risk of self destructive and sometimes fatal uncertainties. You have to burn bright in order to shine. But to be comfortable with truth is to be content.

Bring meaning to matter, not matter to meaning. Existence is imperishable and ever evolving. Life is a joke meant to be taken seriously. Embrace it. Existence is no gift. It is a law. Comfort lies in acceptance.

And now, I must go back to becoming the insignificant link in this mindlessly busy and pretentiously organized chain of intertwining networks that is our universe.

Yours,

Well-informed consciousness.

• Sunny Thadani