6 problems that make us poor and lonely.
Good relationships with others - this is important. After all, each of us is a social being and the ability to build the right relationships with people is an indispensable part of success. But here the main thing is to stick to the balance. And if other people's affairs in your life have become more than your own, it's time to think and change priorities.
We will consider 6 psychological problems that worsen our situation in the society, and we will also try to understand how to solve them.
- Do not know how to refuse?
If you are often asked to consult (free), tell something or borrow money - remember that all this is eating up your time. Ask yourself the question: "What do these people do for me?". Probably, you will not find the answer.
Start putting your affairs first. Make others respect your plans and the right to your own opinion. And if they start to prove to you that you are wrong, they are probably just trying to manipulate you. Put your interests above the interests of lazy people and beggars who are used to the fact that you always help them out.
- Looking for approval?
Do not feel the inner confidence, but because you try to get approval from others? Acts for which friends, neighbors or bosses at work praise you, do you consider good and right? The only person you need to prove something is yourself!
Begin to develop professionally. Start doing what you like. Start to do your health. Put small and big goals and move to achieve them. All this will lead to the growth of your confidence, and you will cease to seek approval on the side, because confidence will fill you from the inside.
- Smooth the corners?
If you do not argue, do not complain and do not fight for your beliefs - then you get used to being silent, tolerating and agreeing to get approval. But if you do not defend your opinion - no one will know about its existence.
Start defending your beliefs. Do not look for support in other people. Do not make yourself dependent on their opinions. Openly expressing their thoughts - you deserve respect, and this is much more valuable than the endorsement for being a good boy / girl.
- Do you value other people's feelings more than your own?
If any negative feelings of other people scare you and make you feel guilty - it's bad for you. Others' resentment, sadness or vexation - this is someone else's feelings, the problem of a particular person, not yours. You do not have to guess the feelings and thoughts of the other and do not have to live up to expectations.
Start to appreciate your feelings more. Do not take on a mountain of other people's problems. Get rid of feelings of guilt. Everyone is responsible for their own lives and must learn to cope on their own with their own problems. Be moderately sensitive, but also moderately tough. Ask how many people have done to solve their problems.
- Do you let too many people?
Is it easy to save your business on the first call for help? Round the clock ready for anything for the sake of others? If the main priority for you is not you - then do not hope that someone else will put your needs above their own.
Begin to determine the boundaries for which you can not go around. Put yourself in first place, on a confident first place. All your affairs and plans should be a priority.
Do you do what you do not like?
Do they constantly demand something from you? And parents and friends, and acquaintances also demand? You rarely do, so other people "need" and "necessary" stuck on all sides, dividing your time into a large number of small fragments?
Start by planning your rest and personal affairs first. And only after that, take on someone else's work. But before you try to help someone, think, do you really need this? Can the work be left to the one who had to fulfill it initially?
Understand your psychological problems and begin to live as a successful and independent person. And if you really start to fight resolutely for your interests, then you will be respected and drawn to you, and you will feel self-confidence, which I did not know before. Good luck in all your endeavors.
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