Too Free Spirited for Life

Get me off this roller coaster! If you follow my life, you recall that a few months ago I was sharing a lot about the concept of being energy rich. (What is being energy rich?)I was going hard at it then, and because of that an opportunity clicked into place that was pretty major for me.

I also write about Law of Attraction a lot. I have a lot of big dreams in my life. I want to see and experience other places and cultures. I want a beautiful house with woods in the yard. I want to have the best relationship possible with my life partner. I want to be ridiculously happy and fulfilled. I want to be in a close knit community of really amazing people. I want a beautiful car. I want to go to seminars and workshops and retreats and events whenever I want to. I want to help people to heal. And I want to fund my life doing that. I want to be supremely healthy and supremely happy.

And I won't accept less.

Up until a few years ago when I learned about Law of Attraction I was lost in life. I had no idea what I was doing or how to do this human life thing. I didn't give myself permission to dream and want wonderful things. I just kept learning what I didn't want.

This is what my life is like

When things don't go as I want them to, I get upset. I know I can have all this and be all this.

“Until you claim energy rich as a baseline you will continue going back to your circumstances.”
Donny Epstein

The only way to get off the roller coaster is for energy rich to be your baseline. Otherwise you'll just go up and down and up and down and up and down.

Another way of explaining the roller coaster is how Abraham-Hicks explains it. Having split energy means that you want something really badly and you're focusing there, but you're also focusing in the other direction. "I can't. I don't know.", etc. It's like a train going in two different directions - the front going forward, and the back half of the train moving backward.

When you're moving steadfast in the direction of where you want to be, and then you don't go, there's a big crash.

Over and over again I find myself getting to the very, very top of how good I ever thought I could feel and moving in the right direction, and then I start to slip. CRASH! Despair. Followed by outward manifestation that makes it even worse. I overcome, I get even higher..... repeat. It's exactly like a roller coaster.

And I'm so over myself. I just cannot with this drama anymore.

It takes so much diligent focus to stay. Life happens and I crash. Recently I crashed really, really hard. Because I didn't let myself go to this new place of this opportunity that clicked. It was mind blowing what was going on inside of me.

I just can't live this roller coaster anymore. I have to take action. I believe that keeping a schedule may keep me off this roller coaster. Perhaps I need to float less, and feeling a real sense of taking control will help me.

No more.

Taking the reins