You Think About Giving Up? You Should Ask Yourself These 7 Questions Before You Give Up

You had a dream? An important goal? Something for which you have already done a lot? But, you have not reached your goal yet. You gave a lot and got nothing for it. Sometimes you would just give up. Just throw it out. Another time you are sure: "No price is too high to reach the goal yet."

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What Is Your Goal?

• To go the next career step in your business
• That it finally works with the next attempt your fertility treatment
• To save the relationship, which was many times over
• The independence to move so far that you can really live on it
• Sporting to become so good that you can do the marathon

Or something completely different?

You invested a lot. Money, time, strength. You do not want everything to be in vain. But you can not imagine that.

Get out Of the Quandary

You are trapped. What to do? Give up or stay tuned? These 7 questions help you to make a good decision. Take some time for each question. Take notes. Then you have more of it. And above all, be honest. Because ringing will not get you anywhere.

Question 1: "is My Goal Still Correct?"

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Ask yourself if your goal is really important to you. Often people start to do something and try hard to reach their goal. Important: stop now and then. Check your goal. Because goals can change. Has your goal lost meaning? Or is something else already much more important?

Examples:

• The birth of a child has made the career jump less important. More time for the family becomes the primary goal.
• The relationship to save (almost) any price is no longer the goal. Because after a two-week business trip of the partner life appears without them in a whole new, much more positive light.
• A couple has once again dealt with his values ​​and needs and can now well imagine a childless life. The goal of having a child is no longer imperative for a successful life.
• A lucrative and interesting offer for a permanent position is on the table. An exciting company where you could do a lot. Is the goal of "successful self-employment" really still yours?

Chase after targets that may have long since become obsolete leads to frustration. What do you do if you invest a great deal of money, then even reach your goal and arrive at your destination: "100% great is not it"?

That's why it's worth asking:

"Is my goal still correct?"

Question 2: "is the Price Worth It?"

To pursue the right goal is very important. To pay a reasonable price is at least as important. Reasonable is a price if the destination is worth the price. 

The price can be very different. Sometimes it is perfectly okay for a target to cost a lot of money, time and energy. In a fertility treatment this is more common. Because the desire for a child is worth many to pay even the highest prices. You will be satisfied with your decision later. Because the price was just worth it.

Other prices are comparatively low. Those who train for a marathon will invest a lot of time, money and energy. In most cases this is not a problem. The price can be too high here too. For example, if the relationship suffers so from the sporting ambitions that the partner or the partner threatens separation.

How is it with you and your project?

What price do you pay if you continue to pursue your goal? What do you have to spend on money, time and energy?

How much does it cost you to stay in the following areas?

1. finances
2. Family and relationships
3. health
4. well-being

Write down your costs. What do you have to spend? And then ask yourself honestly and consciously:

"Is it worth it?"

Who pays too high a price for his destination regrets later, not to have given up (earlier). That's why the question is worthwhile:

"Is the price worth it?"

Question 3: "Did I Try Everything?"

Go back to the beginning of your efforts. Do you remember what it was like when you made the resolution to achieve this goal?

What did you plan to do?

And what did you really do for that?

Be completely honest with yourself: Did you give everything? Did you do everything necessary? You really strained?

If you are unsure: talk to others.

Ask friends, acquaintances, family. Do you think you have done everything? That can be uncomfortable.

Because you may hear, "Well, you could have done more or more of this."

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But it can also get uncomfortable because your best friend or best friend says, "You've done more than I ever thought possible. You really gave everything. "

Why is that uncomfortable? Because you probably can not give more then. The end of the flagpole is reached. But that too is an important insight.

Those who do not try everything later regret not having tried harder, more intense and more persistent. Make sure you do not need to regret your decision. Before you give up, ask yourself

"Did I try everything?"

Question 4: "What progress have I made?"

Just before giving up, most are desperate. We are in the tunnel: "That brings nothing. Invested a lot, nothing came out. "That's the point of view.

Often this is only half the story. In the disappointment that it was not fast enough or we are not yet at the finish, we only see what went wrong.

Therefore, look very carefully:

What progress was there perhaps?

Have you come any closer to your goal?

What did you learn along the way? What little steps did you take?

If you ignore the progress, you are blind to the possibilities that may still offer. That's why the question is worthwhile:

"What progress have I made?"

Question 5: "What professional support can help me?" 

Many goals are not achieved, because one is afraid to seek professional support. How about you? What help did you use?

Who else could you ask?

Have you already been looking for professional support?

A professional career coaching, a couple counseling, a psychological accompaniment on the issue of children, a start-up advice? Before you give up, make sure you have the valuable treasure of professional support.

By the way: That does not always need to be the advice center or the coach on site. Meanwhile, there are many very interesting online offers from supporters and consultants.

Before you give up, ask yourself the question:

"What professional support can help me?"

Question 6: "Would I want to give up, if it would allow me a higher power?"

Giving up is sometimes particularly difficult because we do not allow ourselves.

Giving up always had a bit of "I failed".

Those who give up often condemn themselves for their decision. It is completely alright to give up if you have tried everything and it just does not want to succeed for different reasons. We just have to allow ourselves.

But that's often difficult.

It is easier to give up someone whom you greatly appreciate.

If your parents, a higher power, your partner, your partner would allow you to give up. If they would assure you, "It's all right. You can really give up and focus on something new. It's OK. You're okay."

What would change with such a permit? Would you perhaps breathe a sigh of relief and think, "Yes, now I can just give up"? Would it then perhaps feel like pure relief?

Imagine this question:

"Would I want to give up, if it would allow me a higher power?"

Question 7: "What plans do I have B, C and D?"

If we see no alternative, we stick to agreed plans and plans.

Because: If you only know one way, you often have great fear that this way could not work. Fully understandable. Because who knows only one way, has no alternatives. On the other side of the road, only the abyss seems to threaten.

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Create new ways, so that you do not hold on to your intentions alone out of fear.

What alternatives to Plan A do you come up with?

What could you do instead?

What do you want to spend your time, your money, your energy?

If you do not have alternative plans, you should definitely develop them. 

Ask yourself the question:

"What plans do I have B, C and D?"

Make a Decision: Give up Or Continue?

You have found answers to some or even all questions. How does it look in you now?

Imagine: You are standing at a fork in the road. You can only choose one way. Which one would you choose at this moment: give up or continue

Make a decision. Now.

Before you get a shock now ...

This decision is only valid for today.

Decide and live with this decision for a limited period: one day, a few days, a week.

And keep asking yourself during this period:

• "How does it feel?"
• "How about it right now if I really made that decision?"

So you connect your everyday life with the decision for or against giving up. You get a sense of how good the decision really would be for you.

And if you actually decide that giving up is really the better way, then be a little proud of yourself. Because giving up does not mean that you have failed. It just means that, like a good scientist, you've tried a path and realized that your hypothesis on that path did not work.

Giving up is even a strength. Because who gives up, is honest with itself.

If you give up, you are a courageous person. You have the courage to face your truth. And that's a very important skill if you want to live your life self-determined and fulfilled.