To give or not to give that is the question
Today I want to write something that has always bothered me. Here in South Africa we have people who are car guards. All wear a yellow vests so that you can identify them. At the very big shopping centres they normally cover two rows of cars and help you put your purchases in the boot of your car.
Sometimes one will meet you at the door when you come out with your trolley, then I say no problem take it to my car. Normally they have no idea where my car is parked you then know these are the scammers lol.
When you get near your car on your own with your trolley the person immediately know which is your car. I always thank these people and give them some money, yet they do get paid a salary but just for the help makes me feel that it is a little more thankful.
I don’t have much but if I have I will give. Now we find these people at robots that just hold their hands out and beg for money. My husband always says to these young strong people why don’t you go and get a job, even if it is only looking after cars.
We have many beggars and if you give to them all, you will be the one begging in the end. Now for the story that made me think of this. A few years ago I went to buy groceries and just as I got into my car this man came up to me saying he is so hungry holding out his hand for money to buy a bread. I switched my car off got out and took a bread, some butter and jam out of the stuff I had just bought. He looked at me as if I was crazy when I gave him the bag and said, I am hungry for money and he threw the bag on the ground in front of me. I nearly had a heart attack, he said he was hungry and I was giving him food.
I took all my stuff and put it back in the car and drove off. This man made me wonder about giving to beggers as that was something I always did. What did he want to do with the money, buy dope or liquor?
What is sad about this is he made me think twice before I ever gave anything again as he was not really hungry but just greedy. We had one beggar whom I liked and always gave to until I stood behind him one day in the bank, banking his daily earnings. After he left I said to the teller, I feel so sorry for him and always give him something when I see him as he was friendly and always thanked no matter what I gave him. She laughed at me and said, he has thousands of Rands in the bank by way of begging which really surprised me.
Now to give or not to give that is the question, yet the bible says give if someone needs something from you, but how do you know if this is just a scam or for real? Can anyone tell me how they would handle the situation as I always feel bad if I walk away and don’t give anything?
A great question! I have learned to give something they can just have there and then.. MAybe give some food, or whatever.. even just a bit of your time to have a chat.. Giving money is not the best way to help in many cases and often breeds the wrong kind of behaviour..
Thanks for replying
I will give them something....An opportunity or a job to help themselves.
People don't learn from hand outs, it just hurts them in the long run.
Give of course :)
What an article, thanks a lot My Lady. Me as well learned it hardway that don't always give, specially money.
Giving is part of life, and if you are kind you can't stop yourself doing it one or the other way. We have to give but use our knowledge as you used it when you handed in bread to the begger. I don't give money to anybody until I am certain that this will go for a good cause.
In my religion it is taught that if you gave someone money and he/she bought a gun or knife with it and injure or kill someone you are the same responsible. If he or she do drugs with that money you are also involve in that. So Give but use my knowledge how to and to whom!
Thank you so much this seems like the perfect way to think, that is why I will always give food did not know about your religioun but it makes a lot of sense.
You are always welcome @bigbear. Your articles are very inspirational and informative for me!
As a person here in america I have also always been one that gives. Now I have found myself in need. I really do not want to ask for help and when push comes to shove I find it very hard to ask. So doing without has become my new life. Maybe it is the way i ask for what I think I need. For what I receive is never what I have asked for. Confusing does not even cover it. I was turned on to steemit to help myself with the help of others whom may like what I have to say.
The Bible also says to be a good steward with what you have. Ask God what to do and even if the man is buying dope, and you dont know, give to him. Be smart though like others said. Its best to go a step further and provide them with what they actually need and not "just money".
I do agree I is great to give food to the hungry and blankets to the cold and healing to the sick for sure....
I give them what most people want, money! A common counter argument is why give them money when they will likely misuse it? my response is simple and firm. They have the right to make choices, who put me in a pedestal to play a father role just because I have the money? Whatever the money is used for, it is not my business and if you look at the big picture, you will see that everything has a life cycle, including "socially inappropriate behavior". Our financial contributions can help them get to the place where they finally realize enough is enough.
By rationing the money , you are increasing the desire and delaying the healing - these are my two cents derived from direct experiences for over two decades. I lost a girlfriend because I invited a few old homeless friends for Thanks-giving dinner. It was a double win and never looked back.
I agree...
I personally go with my gut feeling. If you seem genuinely in need, I will give what I can. However, if I get the feeling that you are just trying to get easy money I would politely smile and say I'm sorry I cannot help you today. There is no definite answer to this question in my opinion but it definitely makes for an interesting discussion
I agree - it is a difficult situation - I always feel so sorry for all people that must stay on the street but you do get those ones that feel it is their rigtht to just get more and more and will even moan if you do not give them enough. I also strongly believe that charity begins at home and even though I would love to help everybody, I must also look after my family.
Well, try to think about it from the other point of view. Every time, when you give something to someone who is begging, you lift your selfesteem. Because you are good, generous and rich enough, to share. Think about it like about theraphy, and about money you give is like a fee to your psychoanalyst)