Let Go of Your Dreams – It’s the Right Thing to Do

“Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.” ― C. JoyBell C.

We’ve all got things we want out of life – hopes, dreams, bucket lists, etc. – and it’s generally recommended that we remain steadfast in our attempt to bring these things to fruition. In fact, it’s sometimes suggested that in order to achieve these things, we must sacrifice other concerns and stay fixated on our dreams with single-minded focus.

Depending on what your dreams are, this may be a good thing or a bad thing on the very face of it. Many have let personal relationships wane in favor of chasing dollars, or mortgaged their future for perceived shortcuts toward their goal. But I’m going to suggest that regardless of the nature of your goals, you need to let them go – for the good of yourself, and the world at large.

For this to make sense, I’ve got to define what I mean by “let go”. I’m not calling for a grand spiritual attempt to release all desire, or promoting a life of inaction rooted in the nihilistic notion of life as a meaningless exercise in futility. I’m mostly saying that we’ve got to keep things in perspective and recognize that desires must serve man if they are to be beneficial forces in our lives - man must not be made to serve them.

Of course, this includes you as the goal-seeker, but it also indicates that the fulfillment of your desires must not come at the expense of others. Obviously, we don’t want to let desire take hold of us in a way that leads to self-destructive behavior, and we don’t want to become a monster either; shoving others into the mud as we trample over their backs. But this distinction isn't always as obvious as it seems…

You’ve probably heard the advice “release your attachment to the outcome”; typically as a means by which we may maintain happiness throughout the process of attaining goals, not making our happiness dependent upon their attainment. This is sound advice, but it’s not the whole story. Not only do we have to find joy in the journey, but we also need to be willing to drop the whole thing in an instant if we have cause to believe our goal is inappropriate somehow.

You may have spent years trying to achieve something, when suddenly introspection or experience reveals that your goal is off-target relative to your underlying desires, or even detrimental to yourself or others. If you’ve mentally anchored your self-image to this goal, or made it a defining aspect of your life, you will find this very difficult to do upon that realization. The mind is very adept at twisting logic to devise justifications that keep you bound to that habitual striving.

It's prudent to sacrifice the dream in advance - you must relinquish the belief that you need it to be happy, successful, or satisfied. On a more profound note, you exist as a conscious being perceiving various phenomena, and that consciousness is fundamentally untouched by what's perceived (this includes your own thoughts, emotions, or external conditions). You may still have the desire, and that’s fine (it’s just another perceived phenomenon), but it cannot be permitted to take priority over your momentary happiness, or those aspects of your character that make a you a good, responsible person.

My Story

When I was a teenager, I become swept up in the cultural paradigm of dollar-worship. I was intent on becoming rich! I studied money and investing; listened to all the big “success” coaches; devised a plan for achieving my goal, and poured all of my most precious resource – attention – into the achievement of that goal.

As time wore on, however, my personal growth yielded other realizations. I started to see how this goal was not intrinsically related to my core desires. I didn’t really want money, but the emotional state I believed that money would provide. I saw that the desire for money – and what it could buy - was being purposefully promoted in the culture, and being leveraged by other greedy individuals to serve their own needs, at the expense of the rest of the world.

The money chase was a diversion. It stood in the place of the only means by which I may find true happiness and satisfaction – by learning to gain internal control over my own emotional state. This was a shirking of my natural responsibility (all are charged with the duty to use the tool of their mind responsibly), but it was also leaving little attention left to spend on other important endeavors, like truly understanding the difference between right and wrong, what it means to be a friend to humanity, and milking those things I already had for all the enjoyment they could provide.

What was I to do with this new information? I had studied for years, day and night. All my thought was bent upon this one goal. I was only two months into my new job as a stockbroker. I was finally “making it”, and everyone had celebrated my success. My realization was completely inconsistent with the plan...

Luckily, I’ve always been rather reluctant to embrace a lie. I’m also stubbornly resistant to acting against my inspiration. I was now inspired to act in accord with this newly discovered truth – and there was no doubt in my mind that it was truth indeed. So, there was really only one thing to do – burn the whole thing down to the ground.

I quit the job immediately. I was no longer the guy telling everyone who would listen about sound financial strategies, or asserting my destiny of wealth. Pride, dreams, identity, and everything I’d made my life about – all down the drain in one fell swoop.

I felt pretty disheartened. Even quite embarrassed. I struggled through this time because I had not prepared myself for such a radical diversion from the intended course. I was attached to the dream. I had wrapped myself up in the goal. Instead of letting it go peacefully, of my own free will, I felt like it had been torn away from me. Not by another person, but by the universe, and truth itself.

For many years after, I struggled to navigate this course, which was so divergent from what the culture had taught me to value. If money was no longer the goal, what was? And everyone else still believes in the money thing, so they would no doubt see me as a failure, and downright crazy. It was difficult work to shake off my perception of their perception and stand firm in my own self-valuation.

In time, I came to understand more about what it means to be a human being. With my attention freed up to spend on other studies, I learned about the true nature of morality. Coupled with my experience, I was able to release my attachment to goals, and this made it easier to embrace the sacrifices necessary for a moral person to maintain their character in a largely immoral world.

Breaking the Binds

Are you willing - even excited - to embrace such sacrifices? Probably not, if you’re attached to your goals. What if tomorrow you realized that your goal was inconsistent with your true desire? What if you realized that everything you built your life around was inconsistent with a relatively "minor" moral point? Would you let it slide and sacrifice just a small bit of your character for the sake of staying on the course you’ve plotted for yourself?

There aren't really any “minor” truths, and our personal character (what we do whether anyone is watching or not) is more important than any worldly goal. What about the goal of survival? Are you attached to that goal? Would you place it above right action, if living right meant dying?

Right action means living in accord with truth, and morality is merely the truth of human action and its consequences. If the consequences of your actions are recognized to be detrimental, can you make the necessary change? In order to do so, you cannot have your goal at the top of your priority list. You’ve got to be willing to throw it all away in an instant. This is much easier to do if you’ve let it go previous to that critical moment of choice.

Take some time to consider what’s truly important in your life – why do you strive for your particular dreams? What is it you’re really seeking? Is there anything that takes precedence over helping to create a world wherein everyone can pursue their own happiness, without being imposed upon by the pursuit of others? Is what you really want “out there” anyway, or it something internally-derived?

I guess it comes down to introspection. It’s not about releasing goals because it sounds like a good idea, but because you recognize the true nature of desire itself. Desire is a springboard, inspiring us to action so we may enjoy the beneficial expansion that results. The thing desired is not inherently valuable, but only as a means by which we can facilitate all that is good in the world.

That which serves freedom – the authentic expression of the being – is what we call good. That which does not is hollow, and will ultimately fail to satisfy. What falls into each category is a determination that you must make by careful, earnest analysis. In any case, it behooves us to free ourselves from attachment in order to make us more nimble and capable in this endeavor... and the best time to do make such beneficial changes is always right now.

Thanks for checking in!
Brian Blackwell

Relevant articles supporting a deeper understanding of the ideas presented above may be found here:

• Morality in Theory and Practice

• Playing the Game of Culture

• Emotions (Part 1): What They Are, and How to Use Them