3 Signs Your Relationship Could Use Some Repair

People think they are committed when they aren't. They often say, "I am committed," without really knowing what that means. It is important to know what your stance on being committed is. When you commit yourself to something, it means the same thing as when you say you are ready to do it. Being committed means you are ready and willing to put the time, energy, and resources into making a commitment to work for you in order to get what you want out of your marriage. Here are some examples of people saying they are committed when they are not.


-You committed to having enough sleep. -You committed to making your monthly payments. -You committed to saving at least 2 percent of your income. -You committed to working in harmony with your partner. -You committed to maintaining your professional and personal commitments. -You made a promise to never use drugs or alcohol.

• "I am committed to..." means I am willing to put my relationship at stake by not giving it 100%. - "I am committed to..." means I am willing to risk losing my job if my spouse doesn't leave me. - "I am committed to..." means I'm willing to take the chance of failing in my relationship. - "I am committed to..." means I'm going to make time for myself and my spouse and that is going to count for more than any type of commitment I make to someone else.

When someone says, "I am committed," they usually mean they are emotionally attached to someone or something. Emotions are hard to deal with in a marriage and it can make a commitment to look false and hollow if it is overstated. If your spouse asks you to make an emotional commitment, make it as real as possible. Ask them how they feel. Listen to them and their response. If your partner says that you can make them feel better and less detached, this is a good sign that you both still have a great deal of love and respect for one another.

• "I can't live without my partner." People often say this when they are really committed to a person or a situation but have trouble making it work. If you are constantly trying to find ways to "break up" or "stop being friends," this is a sign your marriage isn't strong enough yet. This could be because you two haven't found a balance between the two of you. In order to create a happy, fulfilling life, you and your partner both need to find a way to balance each other's needs and wants.

• "I can't wait to be committed." Sometimes a person will say this to themselves after they have been hurt by another. You should always be respectful and let a partner tell you what they are feeling. Don't use it as an ultimatum or try to force them to do something they don't want to. If your partner wants to wait to be committed, then you should give it a lot of careful thought and consideration before jumping in.

• "I just can't make up my mind." If you are deeply in love with someone and they seem too laid back or nervous around you, there is a problem. Either they don't want to commit or they aren't sure they can commit. There are a lot of great men and women out there who are great at commitment, but you need to pay attention to the signs so that you can make your decision. You aren't losing anything if you decide you just can't make up your mind about this relationship.

If you see any of these, you need to start taking steps to repair the relationship and get back to being friends. Be willing to communicate and listen to your partner if they want to talk about the issues that are affecting the relationship. Make a commitment to one another that you will work through whatever is holding things back. That commitment can be the turning point that makes you realize that you can make it work. It doesn't matter whether you were afraid to commit because you weren't sure if you could keep up or if you weren't sure if you could ever commit if you weren't sure that you would be able to keep up, once you take the steps necessary to fix the problems then you should have no problem making a strong commitment to your partner.