Finding Your Foundation of Self in a Storm Media and Social Influence

Some of us are luckier than others. Life is hard and no one starts on the same ground as anyone else. We are targeted daily by companies and individuals based on our race, sex, financial status, the region where we live, and even how long we watched one bit of entertainment over another. They do this because they want to narrow down their target audience and make sure to provide their product, whether it be a physical product, entertainment, or information, to the people most likely to engage with it.

While there is nothing wrong with this, in general, it does have some negative impacts. Due to this type of constant marketing, it is easy for people to be coerced into believing that things are better or worse than they actually are. Things appearing worse than they actually are is, unfortunately, the much more common situation. This is a consequence of marketing. The truth is that as humans we are hardwired to be risk-averse, meaning we are subconsciously looking for threats to either to avoid and/or engage in order to stay safe and keep living. The trouble here is that this can be purposely highjacked by people who wish to coerce us into their line of thinking. Groups and Movements use these reactions to fear along with what are many times insignificant threads of commonality to pull you into their fold, to make you feel like you belong, because once you feel like your identity is determined in even a small part by your being a part of that group then any attack against the group is an attack against you personally.

This personal attachment and feeling of belonging then tend to manifest into actions of further sharing and recruitment. We do so because we either believe that further recruitment will benefit us in some way, financially or in group status being two of the more common ways, or we do so because we have found some measure of comfort and happiness and wish to share it with others.

Now the point of this is not to say that these feelings of belonging or aversion to risk are a bad thing in and of themselves, but it is an easy place to get lost in. One of the issues that we have as a society is that as we are constantly marketed to in every facet of our daily life by commercials, news outlets, recommended videos and articles, and with this constant barrage of filtered content it's easy to found ourselves either in an ideologic echo chamber where you constantly hear the same thoughts displayed over and over where no discourse or discussion is permitted. In these types of situations, the idea of looking at the other side of an argument even to better understand how the opposing side thinks is often tantamount to a treasonous act against your group which is to be punished.

With a minefield like this to navigate I have found myself at times being subconsciously pulled toward one group or another, holding a pessimistic view of the current state of things and my own options of how to proceed. It's easy to see a vocal minority as a much large issue than they actually are, or to downplay a significant issue because it doesn't fit the narrative that the group you assign to feels is important.

So how do we find ourselves?

Be skeptical --- Anytime you find yourself being called out to as part of a group question the intent. Does the person reaching out to me want something from me? What do they have to gain by coercing me into the action that they are asking of me?
Entertain the thoughts of your opponent --- Be willing to set aside your past experience and take a look at things from your adversaries point of view. Don't go into the thought process with the purpose of finding holes but of actually thinking about yourself in the opposition's position and making an argument. If the argument can be made rationally then you may have to reexamine your own position.
Disconnect --- Whatever your group is, be it religion, political, racial, hobby, take some time away from it from time to time. If you live an area where 90% of the people share your race try to travel somewhere else. If you go to a Catholic church every Sunday try visiting Synagogue, or Temple of some other faith and experience something different. If you find yourself in a constant political fray take some time away from reading the news of your normal choice.
Beware of Cognitive Dissonance --- While defined as, the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. This is more commonly an issue of a reaction of pain or anger when faced with a fact or idea that is in opposition to what someone believes to be true. Try to realize when this pops up in yourself. If you are confronted by an idea and your initial response is pain or anger you most likely have not taken time to consider the statement yet and are prone to an emotional response rather than a rational one.
Don't Assume the worst --- It is true that sometimes people are just shit people. However, it is not generally the case. When hurt or offended take a second to make sure what you heard was what was said and meant before reacting.
Take time alone --- Take time to separate yourself from the world and ask yourself honest questions. What do I like? Why do I like it? What do I want to achieve? Make yourself answer out loud and make yourself answer in full thoughts, not single words. Example. What do I want to achieve? "Make money." is not an acceptable answer. Delve deeper into yourself. "I want to make enough money so that I can stop working the job I hate and still be able to take care of my family." "I want to make enough money to pay my rent off for the rest of the year" These are answers that are going to help guide you in finding your way.

I hope that some of you find this helpful. If you have please leave me a comment below and let me know what your thinking. This article, my blog is the result of going through this process with myself. It's easy to get caught up in surviving and getting by that we can lose sight of who we are and what we actually want out of life. I'm no guru, just trying to help.