Forgiving Another - Is it the Right Choice?

Forgiving another person is not easy. It takes time, energy and maturity to learn to forgive another person. Forgiveness is not about masking the hurt, it's about learning to own up to your part in the mistake and moving on. There are no short cuts to forgiveness; it is a lifelong process that requires patience and determination.


Forgiving another person takes time because it is not about deciding whether the other person is to be forgiven or not. You have to determine first if you can truly forgive and if there is truly anything you want out of the forgiveness process. Forgiving someone involves moving on. No matter what you feel when you are angry with someone; it takes time to decide if the relationship can survive being apart.

Many people mistakenly believe that forgiving means giving up on a person who caused you hurt. This is not true; forgiving someone does not mean that you will be tolerating or ignoring them. If you truly intend on forgiving your partner or child, you have to be willing to take the hurt and find a way to deal with it so it doesn't impact your relationship.

Forgiving another person is never easy. It takes time and patience to decide if you can move on. A person's ability to forgive is a delicate balance; if it is not kept in check, it can easily destroy the relationships you have with the individual involved. When a person does not forgive their partner or child, they are literally shutting them out of all things. They have failed to take ownership of the mistake their actions caused, so they feel no shame in not expecting forgiveness from others.

It is difficult to let go of a person who caused you hurt. If you have been burned before, it will take some time to let go of the pain. Forgiving someone means letting go of the pain, but also learning to move on. Healing from hurt is easier when you don't continue to relive it over again. Forgiveness means letting go, moving on, and learning to live with the consequences of your actions. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened, it simply means learning to live with it.

People who suffer from deep pain are not interested in forgiveness. They simply want to heal from the hurt and learn to forgive. Healing means letting go and forgiving others. Forgiveness means allowing yourself to be vulnerable so you can receive your share of self-love and forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what was wrong; it simply means you are learning to be okay without that hurt.

When you decide to forgive a person or an event, it does not mean you agree with what has happened. Forgiving another person or an event does not mean you are agreeing that it is forgivable. Forgiving someone does not mean you agree with them, only that you are opening yourself up to receive their forgiveness.

Forgiving another person is simply about making room for another person to be in your life. It is about allowing them to experience the grace of life despite the pain they may have caused you. Forgiveness is the ability to share with another human being while learning to move on. Forgiveness is about accepting another person the way they are, even if we do not feel comfortable with them. Forgiving is simply opening ourselves up to receiving kindness and compassion rather than anger and pain.

In order to forgive another person or an event, we must first be sure we truly can accept them as who they are. We must learn to see the good that they bring into our lives. We also have to take into consideration the bad that may come from time to time. Once we feel comfortable enough to accept a person as who they are, we can work toward forgiveness.

Many times we are so focused on what we are experiencing or feeling that we forgive another when really we do not. For instance, when we are in the midst of an argument and someone brings shame and ridicule upon us, we are likely to hold ourselves back from forgiving them. We may also be so focused on what we feel is wrong that we forgive without real thinking about whether the action we are taking is really the best option. While we may not always think very clearly, sometimes we do not truly know if forgiveness is an option. If we feel we must forgive, then it is okay to do so.


Forgiving another is not easy but it is important to do when circumstances dictate. It is important not to push this action too far until we feel completely comfortable with it. Remember, once we forgive, it does not mean the incident is forgiven with. Forgiveness does not mean throwing the other person out of pity. If we truly want to give forgiveness, we must think and feel ourselves as we would forgive someone else.