Schooling and me

So from the outset, there needs to be some understanding, I love learning, my autism makes me have a great love of logic and I have a deep love of all arts. So the idea of school is idealistic for me. A place you go, where they literally give you free knowledge, which, later in life, translates to more money. So, down side please? For me it was the people, the bullying to be more specific, and later on going to school started to damage my health. For a normal teenager, yes you’re going to be tired, but for me, it has gotten to a point where going into school for half a day would land me in hospital, and for a normal person they might think ‘yay! I get to be off school for months at a time’. But not for me.
So the story from the beginning:
I never really fit in like other people did. To this day I have more people I consider friends who are my teachers than people who are students at my school. But I was bullied a lot and so I had to change schools a couple times until I realised it wasn’t the schools it was me. I was different and no matter where I went that would be the case. So I decided I wouldn’t let other people effect where I went to school anymore. This sucked. I was a weird kid and still am, but that doesn’t change that school caused a lot of my stress and problems, and none of the problems actually came from what school was designed to do. It was designed to teach and we were designed to learn. Sounds like a perfect match.
But it was not meant to be. Us humans have a problem with not seeing what’s right in front of us.
I am considered to be above average in most subjects and most people consider me a know-it-all. Hell, once I even got the nick-name ‘google’ in history class. It always used to confuse me how these names where insults. But now when I get my report card and I see high B’s and Low A’s I’m sad. I know that sounds snobby, but with less than 50% attendance if I’m still passing well, imagine what I could have achieved if I wasn’t sick. But I know if I push myself I’ll just get worse and that in turn will just be counterproductive. So me and school have a bit of a love-hate relationship. Love to learn, hate to be forcing into a room with incredibly uninteresting people, who are incredible uninterested in me. So here is a letter I wrote to school.
Dear school,
I love the idea of you. You would help me grow and would help me learn. You would make me progress as a person and improve my social skills, in a perfect world that is. It’s like someone dreamed you up like a bad boy crush. You seem logical and like a perfect fit for me. But somehow you hurt me, and only me, in a way that you never seem to hurt anyone else. So I would like to ask you to be kind. Forgive me for not being with you a lot of the time. But I do want to say, that you aren’t who you appear to be, even to those who are made for you.
No Love, but also no hate-
anyarose
So from the outset, there needs to be some understanding, I love learning, my autism makes me have a great love of logic and I have a deep love of all arts. So the idea of school is idealistic for me. A place you go, where they literally give you free knowledge, which, later in life, translates to more money. So, down side please? For me it was the people, the bullying to be more specific, and later on going to school started to damage my health. For a normal teenager, yes you’re going to be tired, but for me, it has gotten to a point where going into school for half a day would land me in hospital, and for a normal person they might think ‘yay! I get to be off school for months at a time’. But not for me.
So the story from the beginning:
I never really fit in like other people did. To this day I have more people I consider friends who are my teachers than people who are students at my school. But I was bullied a lot and so I had to change schools a couple times until I realised it wasn’t the schools it was me. I was different and no matter where I went that would be the case. So I decided I wouldn’t let other people effect where I went to school anymore. This sucked. I was a weird kid and still am, but that doesn’t change that school caused a lot of my stress and problems, and none of the problems actually came from what school was designed to do. It was designed to teach and we were designed to learn. Sounds like a perfect match.
But it was not meant to be. Us humans have a problem with not seeing what’s right in front of us.
I am considered to be above average in most subjects and most people consider me a know-it-all. Hell, once I even got the nick-name ‘google’ in history class. It always used to confuse me how these names where insults. But now when I get my report card and I see high B’s and Low A’s I’m sad. I know that sounds snobby, but with less than 50% attendance if I’m still passing well, imagine what I could have achieved if I wasn’t sick. But I know if I push myself I’ll just get worse and that in turn will just be counterproductive. So me and school have a bit of a love-hate relationship. Love to learn, hate to be forcing into a room with incredibly uninteresting people, who are incredible uninterested in me. So here is a letter I wrote to school.
Dear school,
I love the idea of you. You would help me grow and would help me learn. You would make me progress as a person and improve my social skills, in a perfect world that is. It’s like someone dreamed you up like a bad boy crush. You seem logical and like a perfect fit for me. But somehow you hurt me, and only me, in a way that you never seem to hurt anyone else. So I would like to ask you to be kind. Forgive me for not being with you a lot of the time. But I do want to say, that you aren’t who you appear to be, even to those who are made for you.
No Love, but also no hate-
anyarose