Lessons learned working in a Chinese High School: Teacher Leave Them Kids Alone

During my first few years in China, I didn't think the culture shock would ever end. There seemed to be a new surprise around every corner. It was certainly true the first moment I stepped into a Chinese high school. It seemed like complete chaos as children played in the hallway. There was pushing and running and screaming, oh my! Music was bumping hip hop from one of the classrooms while blaring easy listening from another.

It was nothing like what I expected. I imagined quiet respectful students lining up in the hallways before they quietly marched to their next class. I heard stories of the amazing amount of effort and time Chinese high school students put into their studies. I thought for sure such a life would require the behavior of a monk not this hedonism.

Once I began my teaching job in earnest, I set out to correct this behavior. I began trying to regulate the students' physicality in the hallway. I told them to be gentler and stop running. I asked them to be quiet in the hall. I would adjust the volume and critique their music selection. After a week of fruitless efforts, I realized that I was figuratively yelling at them to get off my lawn. I was the old man ruining the youngsters' fun.

I had to reflect on what my purpose was and what the benefit of such efforts could possibly be. I realized that I was just trying to get the students to meet the expectations American schools have for their students. But is this a good thing? Now I am convinced that it is not. Children need to be allowed to be children. Yes, we need to guide them and help them grow but we should not expect them to behave as an adult.

Since that original realization, I have had my new found belief validated time and time again. One example is that from time to time my students curse in and outside the classroom. I have found that such moments are excellent times to discuss the use of language and the expression of our emotions. Me: "Tommy, what do you mean the question is shit." Tommy: "The question is too confusing." Me: "Oh, ok...you don't like it....well let's figure it out together."

Another example is when I arrived in the classroom and found one of my female students crying out in pain. I asked what was up and the female student told me that her male classmate had hit her. Now, in America this is the moment where you call the police. Luckily, for me and the students this was not a big deal. I brought the male student into the conversation and we discussed how to remedy the situation and how to prevent future problems.

My students sometimes ask me inappropriate questions. This can be done innocently or with intent to get a laugh. Recently, a student asked me what Viagra was and what it did. My face lit up. I knew he wanted to get a laugh. What he got was first a laugh and then a full explanation of how the drug was developed and what its physiological benefits were. Now in America such inappropriate behavior would be cause for reprimand. In addition, any teacher that waded into such an informal discussion would be tempting fate while walking on a tightrope. For me, it was the perfect teaching moment and we both got a laugh.

My last example is my favorite. One of my previous students is super competitive. She does not like to lose at anything. She works her ass off to get the best grades in her class. One day, we were playing an exam review game when another one of my students bent the rules and by doing so gained a point unfairly. Now my super competitive student did not like this one bit. She proceeded to tell me that I needed to enforce the rule properly and take away the point from the other student. Now, the student that bent the rule did so unintentionally and was unlikely to score another point the entire game. Out of pity, I was willing to let that student keep the point. After all, the game we were playing was not exactly the NBA finals. Well Miss Competitive was not having it so she proceeded to exit out the classroom's ground floor window.

Again, if I was teaching in America, this would be the point where security, the principle, and the parents would be called to intervene in a panic. My response was the opposite. I did nothing. I just allowed her to blow off some steam. After a while, I sent a student to find her ask her if she would like to return to the classroom. She did. I said nothing and kept teaching until the end of the period. I saw her a few hours later at lunch time. She was alone. So I stopped her and asked her if she was ok. She said she was still mad. I asked her if she would like to discuss it. She did. So we did. It was a great moment. She had many valid points in which I acknowledged. She also acknowledged my concern for her leaving the room through a window. Since that moment our student-teacher relationship could not be stronger.

Teachers need to let high school students be kids while guiding them toward adulthood. Trying to regulate student behavior with zero tolerance policies and overreaction is not healthy. The mistakes that students make intentionally or unintentionally should be learning moments that lead to personal growth.