RE: My exchange #12 - Journal of acting class - the inner critic
I totally understand the part about not giving you 100% in case you don´t succed. I had the same feeling a few years ago, for me it was: Ok, I consider myself very capable in a lot of areas, but to actually try to achieve something and not getting it, might show me how capable I truly am, sort of a reality check. The truth is, I didn´t. I have gotten pretty much everything I strive for and that is very fulfiling, sometimes you just have to take that leap off of your comfort zone and magical things will hapen, we are capable of so much yet we don´t do it because self doubt is always there to haunt us. The moment I realize that, my life took a sudden change which I am loving.
Well, to get rif of the inner critic, for me it works perfectly to do the things I wouldn´t do. If old Eric would never dance roomba in public because of embarrasment, present Eric actively searches for dancing situations to deal with that embarrasment; if old me would not speak with girls, present me starts conversations with every girl I see, and even if it goes horribly, you learn from everything, you become a better person, you come one step closer to being the best version of yourself you can be, and that feeling is awesome.
You don´t even need to make a list about these things. When you encounter a moment where your answer would be no, make it a yes, a hell yes, a "let´s do this now" yes.
Yeah, I've gotten better at giving my best last years but I could still improve in that sense so I am working on it. In acting I cannot really not give my everything or not commit to the role or I will definitely fail, so that is a perfect way to train. It also makes me feel very vulnerable, but that is good too.
And I am trying to get rid of the inner critic in that same way :) Yesterday I went to a ska/reggae concert with my friends and no one was dancing. There was not even really a dance floor. And my friend said that she felt a bit sorry for the band that had to play for a sitting audience and jokingly said we should go do it. My response normally would have been no, no one else is dancing - but instead I said yes and got some of my friends to join me at the dance floor. I was mostly just jumping around like a idiot, I don't really know how one is supposed to dance to ska music, but it was so much fun!!! Every time my inner critic told me I looked stupid I continued dancing even more energetically and it worked :) after a few songs we got some more people dancing with us and I am quite sure no one else would have come up and started dancing if we wouldn't have gone first. The band seemed to appreciate it as well :)