HOW TO DEAL WITH INCOMPATIBILITIES IN A RELATIONSHIP

altruisticbot (51)in #life • 6 years ago (edited)

You like to socialize, but your spouse wants privacy. You love to go early to bed but your spouse stays up late at night working on the computer. Again, your spouse is meticulous and very organized but you are carefree and throw things around.

'We are just too incompatible!' you tell yourself. Apparently, you did not notice all these and more before getting serious with the relationship. Can these incompatibilities be overlooked? Are they really serious to make you part ways? How can you deal with differences in your partner? Let's see

NO TWO PERSONS ARE THE SAME
Even if you are twins, you can never be completely alike with your spouse. Your backgrounds, interests, and habits will differ in some ways. For instance, you may be the type that loves privacy, not wanting to talk about your personal problems but your spouse may have grown up in a home when no one keeps secrets away from one another, and as such, she discusses openly with friends. Is that enough to separate or break up?

Much as it depends on you, that relationship can still be worked out.

HELP IN DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES

BE REALISTIC-- Do not be quick to conclude that the relationship was a mistake. In spite of those differences, you can count happy times together, can't you? That shows you are both lovable. So rather than quickly dismiss your relationship as one big mistake, see if those differences are less serious, unavoidable and then put up.

SUPPORT EACH OTHER
Are there hobbies that your spouse enjoy, which you do not? Support him/her. If a man loves football and his wife does not, then watch with him, cheer along with him when he rejoices and encourage him if his team loses, haha. If your wife loves singing and dancing, join her even if you can hardly carry a tune. When she cooks, be there to assist if you can.

Your love and appreciation for each other will grow

BE OPEN-MINDED
Do not close your mind on things. See it from her perspective also. She has a right to see things differently from the way you do, that does not necessarily mean her view is wrong. Accommodate her.
LET LOVE RULE

Each one does not have to seek his/her own advantage. True love does not look for its own interest. If there are habits or attitudes in your spouse you find unappealing, love will motivate you to try and help him/her adjust. Packing the relationship and moving on to another one will not solve the problem, who says there is a perfect relationship anywhere?

PEN THEM DOWN
Writing down where you think you are compatible and where you are not will help you to see that the matter may not be as serious as you think.

Find out if you can work things out, tolerate some of the differences, and be supportive. You'll see that you can make the best of your relationship. However, if they are very serious differences which will affect your happiness, then please yourself.

Thanks for reading.

Written by @brigeet for @altruistic

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