Journal of an eXstatic Life #3, StarTribe 3

alexstacy (48)in #life • 7 years ago

eX·stat·ic
ek'stadik,ik'stadik
adjective
1.feeling or expressing overwhelming happiness or joyful excitement.
synonyms: enraptured, elated, in raptures, euphoric, rapturous, joyful, overjoyed, blissful
2.involving an experience of mystic self-transcendence.
"an ecstatic vision"
noun
1.a person subject to mystical experiences.
src

(These are raw excerpts and not necessarily in exact order or dated. I'll include as much of what I've written as my ego will allow. I will usually avoid interpersonal entries that contain names, however, when I feel it may be potent or necessary for flow to include a section that mentions someone, I will replace the name with an animal or fruit. You may not understand all of the references I make, but perhaps you will find it part of the poetry. Thank you for respecting these intimate and vulnerable shares. May they bring you inspirations.)

Where We Left Off~ January 18- 23rd, 2016

*Undated
The answer is always Yes.
We just had to make it there. It's so magnetic it can create an aversion.
"There are as many worlds as there are minds." -Osho
And those who enter through the heart find themselves in the Temple of Kindness.
The worship of interconnected existence leads us to the bliss we all strive for every moment.
The bliss that can only slip through our fingers in its liquid nature.
We cannot grasp that which awaits us,
Only receive what we have co-created in this moment.
Blessed be those that can answer with Yes to the Now.

*Undated
My family is an ocean, and I swim where the school of life takes me
Though I am always hohm, the tidal flow shakes me
Sometimes I break upon the shores of consciousness until I must recede
Tap into the vastness, Find everything I need
Exploring caves within my mind to discover hidden treasure
Though I've built reefs around my heart, I know Love that has no measure

I feel so interconnected to all life and my tribes, and my community. Simultaneously, I feel isolated and removed from my pain and mourning. The microcosm of Uncle Swordfish's death, and my distance from all those related to his passing, reveals the larger macrocosm of this occurring in my life.
It has been difficult to really feel it, to experience it as a reality, when I have no one in close proximity who ever even knew he existed. I have had relatively little experience with death in my life, though I have always known it is something I would have to face repeatedly.
Was I better prepared by this knowing? Or does it contribute to the numbness? It's hard to say.

*February 1st, 2016
A weekend reminder to hold no expectations of the path unfolding. All I can do is steer this vessel towards the highest calling. This journey took me to Sante Fe. After experiencing divine alignments with the Alcapones at Ophelia's, Pineapple shared that his brother had been hospitalized down south. I did not hesitate to offer him a ride as his car is sickly. Thus began the adventure that continues on.
Watching a blizzard in Manitou from the Maté Factor. Bellies full and now onto ??? The plan is to head north, and yet I remember that anything can happen in the coalescing manifestation. While I feel altogether present, I've also felt a bit beside myself lately. Not in the sense of the cliché saying... but literally like I'm sitting beside myself in most endeavors. Maybe I'm keeping myself company. Perhaps it's easier to witness my emotions. Whatever the reason, it is a phenomenon I am most curious about. Cultivating awareness as I pursue these rounds of life. Excited for the current creation of the StarTribe Ripple Effect in Manitou.

(graphic by @alaisclay)

Current Reflections: April 6th, 2018

Song of the Day~ Please Press Play: Our Game by Yaima

wait for it ~~~~~~~~ ok~ go~~

I got a call this morning from @lallyiam to see if I wanted to come on a dumpstafar~I mission. I felt motivated for the quest, and prepared myself for the journey. One thing I love about Colorado, though it catches me off-guard sometimes, is that we have every season every season. When I exited the RV, it was pretty dismal outside. The air was cold and wet, and the sky was dark and grey. A few moments later the flurries began. My motivation declined, but after some breakfast and coffee, we were ready to go~~~

~~ Today we headed east into Colorado Springs ~~

Abundance! It was little slimy in there, but he handled it like a champ.

The snow continued to escalate and the temperature dropped lower. Since my vision for the day of yardwork and hiking were being thwarted, I bundled up in the RV and wrote an article, Your Children Are Not Your Children inspired by a Kahlil Gibran quote I found inside the house. I've spent most of the day in this very seat, with Bhokta anxiously chewing away on his bones. He sleeps now, curled up on the couch with his head tucked in. He's beginning to do his dream-twiches. And where am I in relation to the experience I was dreaming up in 2016?
I feel the ripples of the past here. I also feel the ripples of the future. They are all heading in the same direction. Out~~~
Here is a new centerpoint. It has already happened, and yet it is completely new and awaits the imprint and intention of our free-will. Each moment is a wave pulsing into this cocreated existence. I am but a drop in the cosmic ocean and yet I feel the potency of my being, my ebb and flow of allowing and manifestation.
Distant are the feelings of being outside myself. Their ripples have perhaps run their course, for now. I have so much more to cultivate in presence with self, but I am present with I. I still feel unable to reach some emotions sometimes, but I trust they are certainly all stored within me and organizing themselves to create various forms of ecstasy and reverence. If I can echo anything from January of 2016 it is that I am saying yes to the now. Even when it's difficult or unforeseen circumstances arise, I am finding the will to say yes and move through it with as much grace and ease as the moment and my abilities will allow.