Consent in sex does not kill romance: why it is necessary to hear "yes"

About where the traumatic ideas of intimacy come from and why the principle of consent in sex does not interfere with passion and romance.

While in the world there is an active discussion about harassment, violence and the boundaries of two people allowed in interaction, there are other conversations in the Runet on this background.

We are discussing how to dress and how to be photographed for social networks, so that your murder is morally justified by the whole country, and almost decidedly that we do not need any consent in sex, because it kills romance and in general distorts the whole essence of sex.

Let's figure out how such beliefs arise and why in fact consent in sex does not interfere with romance and the concept of sex.

Pain for many - an indispensable component of sex
Pain statistics
When we talk about consent in sex, we a priori believe that all participants in the process are in the same position, have the same information and expectations.

It seems that the pain in these expectations does not fit into anybody, but nevertheless, the studies conducted in the United States show that 30% of women and 5% men experience pain during vaginal sex, 72% of women experience anal sex, and most of them do not talk about it to their partner.