What it's like to be a great person with Piece of shit parents

Yup, that's right, I said it and I meant it. Rather then bore you without another sweet and wholesome Holiday Christmas Story, how about I tell you some real reality.

Especially around the Holidays people try to play off like all is wonderful with there family just so they can maintain some bullshit image to society saying, hey my life ok. But then down they hate there fucking family and wish they were adopted.

In actuality, in a kinda reverse counter effect, it is that piece of shit treatment that I have received from these 2 psychopathic dysfunctional delusional hateful dynamic duo that had cause me at an early age to strive to be the exact Polar Opposite, funny how that works.

I have met many people in my life when I happen to mention that my parents are assholes, they will always say stupid shit like "Ahh, I'm sure it's not that bad or crap like "Your parents Love you" or stupidity remarks like nobody's perfect. Well for those of you who have not experience piece of shit parents my response to you is "Go Fuck Yourself you in compassionate prick.

If you grew up in a good home and had your parents love and affection and all that wonderful stuff that parents should transmit to their children, kudos. I'm not hating on your or anyone for that matter. My point is that life is so paradoxical that people don't fully understand what they have. I compare it to say the difference between first world problems and 3rd world. In the first world your problem might be such dilemmas which movie or restaurant should we go to this weekend. In the third world it's more like I hope I find something to eat today and a roof over my head.

So as with parents some people have great caring parents that will go their life for there children and ok due to their obsessive love might go to an extreme babying which also causes problems in the life of a child. And I understand many people on the other side of loving a child to death can also cause damage. But none the less if this is you you should be fucking greatly that there your parents genuinely love you compared to some of us who have been abused and been treating like shit and have been made to feel like a burden. No person, especially a child should every be made to feel this way, what kind of monsters hurt small children and torture there own. But the sad truth is it does exist so we must as well deal with it, expose it and discuss the healing process.

Without out a doubt having piece of shit parents made me into the most compassionate person. I knew what it was to be put down, beaten, stepped on, shitted on talk bad about, not just in my back but in my face pretending like I can't hear every fucking word you say. And even if I can't hear every word I for sure can just pick up the sound or tone of the voice to know that there is some professional shit talking going on.

(me at 5 years old playing, trying not to be affected by the violence and abuse that surrounded me)

My abuse started as in my few first months of life in this world right after my non lactating mother suffered some post pardon depression and abandoned taking care of her me and my older brother to go help out my father in his jewelry manufacturing shop. This decision might have helped her mood, but what the fuck did it do the little baby version of me?? Thank God I had a grandmother who was there to administer some maternal love to me but it fucked me up, depressed me and gave me abandonment issues which then had led to have issues with not trusting woman and a long list of other dysfunction I had to heal from, just fucking great. Even from as early as 5 years old my cocaine crackhead parents already began talking shit about me in Spanish and conspiring against me. I can't even comprehend that, how can you be so vicious towards a small innocent child, which I was and in many ways still am. What kind of sickness does a person have to physically put there hands on a 5 or 6 year old boy, whipped ferociously with a belt, not just light licks to my rear end, I'm talking full swinging Jose Canseco type home run whips that left welts all over my body. My father always preferred to use favorite belt that had his name Jorge carved on the buckle.

So if you grew up in a wonderful happy home and didn't get yelled out all the time and beaten to the point of getting scared or worse then I suggest you "Shut The Fuck Up and Show More Compassion and Respect for Victims of Violence". And there are many many victims of violence and not just me. It's sad that many victims of violence or so PTSD traumatised they down even realized how fucked up there are because they have numb the emotions to cover the deep deep pain that was caused to them by their piece of shit parents.

I for one have a beautiful almost 5 year old daughter who lives in Namibia with her mother. Amiah was born on the same year that I got feed up with the States and my family and took off to Chile. While in conflict with her mother after she was born,(Due to me not getting access to her) I started thinking and remembering my childhood. Because I was disconnected from my daughter, I was concerned that she too would be a victim of abuse because her mother was very abusive. This conflict began to open some deep deep scares that I had covered and suppressed for 30 years.

Once I began my awakening process when I returned from Namibia and began learning about all the corruption of the systems and the true history of American history, Wars, Rothichilds, Obama and many other topics, including spiritual. Even though I had been a professing Christian at that time I was in a process of evolving into deeper understand and meaning of spirituality and life. In my pursuit of truth also led me to a pursuit of healing.

There was much to heal from, those who have not experienced it should really Thank God. I thank God that I have found healing and that I have never been abandoned by God at any point during my healing process. If I did not know pain, I would not be able to feel the pain of others as deeply. This is why I am able to travel and operate the way I do, even when I fuck up and find myself in a self created shit storm. It's this attitude of the compassion I have shown others that also boomerangs right back to me in moments when I am in need of severe compassion.

Part of my reason for sharing my stories and experiences is to encourage others who also have gone thru the struggles such as me. Sometimes I use to say things like why me, it's not fair and I hate my life. I wanted so bad to be healed from my brokenness and hurt. The search for the cure and the journey that it took would have not even have happened if not for the hurt caused by my parents. Even at the age of 35 years old I found myself in my parents home being abused like when I was 6 years old. And it was that treatment that propelled me to make the change that would forever change my being.

Life is a mystery and things can happen in a mysterious way. For me, tragedy seems to be what brings about change. You have to get so tired of the bullshit and recognize your brokenness before you can receive your healing. Fortunately I have received much healing and continue to heal from the damage that caused me to get so low that I there was no where else to go put up. So broken that it was either lie down and except my souls death while living in the confines of 4 bedroom home in the suburbs of South Florida or just say I rather die then live like this a purchase a ticket to an unknown land with no real plan except to find some form of sanity and peace.

The sacrifice of finding Freedom, Sanity and Peace was worth the risk. Because I was so traumatized I felt like I was trapped in a self made prison that I realized ultimately only existed in my mind. I had came to the conclusion that I wasn't this weak powerless person who life had treated so unfairly and was destined for failure because of my own self deception. Everyone's breaking point is different but ultimately one must get past that thought that you are prison when the reality the key has been on the jail cell door the entire time.

After many years of abuse I finally realized that I could be free and all the answers I had been looking for my entire life had always been inside of me, but I had to dig deep in the pit of my soul. I had to find the demons that were hidden in the corners of my mind, in the recesses of my memory in order to transcend them and let go of the power I allowed them to have all of me.

And even though I say my parents are piece of shits, its that piece of shit treatment that made me turn around and say to myself I want to be different. I want to be a better person. After I would get beat as a child from my father who also played soccer and used to win Taekwando board breaking competitions, I would look in the mirror and say I fucking hate him and promised I would never be like him.

Instead of letting pain and suffering destroy me as it does many or lead them to a life of drug addiction or worse, I turned to God the Universal Creator. And the creator thought me that I had to forgive them also like Jesus said, Forgive them father for they know not what they do.

Also want comes to mind when I write this is something I heard Deepak Chopra say in one of his meditations, which I'm not telling you to follow New Age Teachers, but I have learn to discern what is true and what's a lie and the following statement I found is true, he says' How can the conscious be affected or bothered by the unconscious.

Those of us who were abused by our parents and are in a healing process should be the conscious ones aware of what is going on and aware that the abusers are not conscious being who themselves were abused and have never dealt with there pain and trauma which leads them to repeat the same cycle.

I was told the worse things by my parents and from my healing I realized that there lies and I'm not that bullshit person that they make me out to be. Just like your not that person, I learn to say I Love Myself and they can go fuck themselves. It was also the ayahuasca and mushrooms that helped me release the pain and just let go.

At the end of the day I don't hate my parents, but I feel a deep sorrow for them because they refuse to know what a great person I have become and not just me my other siblings also. It's so twisted that ones own family can reject the truth about one in order to maintain an image that supports them so they don't feel like complete piece of shits. Because if they were to look at the evidence of my life they would see clearly that I am a Blessing to others and a Beautiful person inside and out. If they come to this conclusion they will have confront there own self deception and the monsters that have become. The great thing is that there can even be redemption for monsters. But the point is empowering yourself to forgive them because they are broken and need the most love and the most healing. I'm not saying to take the abuse at some point you will have to walk away but letting go in a loving way is the best for them and most importantly yourself.

Not everyone is Blessed to have great parents if you are cherish them and tell them you love them and if not, don't worry. As in the Michael Jackson song "You are not alone, I am here with you, thought were far apart your always in my hurt, you are not alone". And I am with you and the God that resides in yourself is always with you in spirit and in truth.

And for those of you that maybe have never experienced abusive parents but have been the recipient of some other person's abusive oppressive behavior you can apply the same advise. Don't stand for people's shit, respect yourself and love yourself fist and foremost. If you don't people will stand and shit all over wherever you go. Don't be afraid of these so called bullies or monsters. It's true we must forgive others but we must also known when it's appropriate to tell someone to go fuck themselves.

My experience has taught me, the bigger the monster the harder it falls, so don't be afraid to kick the Demons in the Balls. Love yourself and stay true cause God still has a lot of miracles in stored for you :)

One Love

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