1) You say you don't do the work for the money because when you stop worrying about the money, you produce your best shit ever

But oh wait, money is important and going broke totally sucks ass.

2) You say looks don't matter to you because it's what underneath that counts

But oh wait, you remember that you're not a mind reader and your sense of smell can't take it if your date doesn't shower. And he or she is wearing Crocs. 

3) You complain to all your friends that your mom is annoying as hell for all the damn nagging

But oh wait, you love your mom and in your darkest hours, you wish she was right there for you

4) You say you love to travel the world because 'wanderlust!'

But oh wait, when you're abroad, sometimes you just can't wait to get home because some places are just scary as fuck!

5) You say being home all the time is boring and you feel lonely

But oh wait, you remember that you're introvert and being around people in that party got super uncomfortable, fast. You want your bed, book, blanket and pet cat to be with you only you.

6) You say partying gets old so fast

But oh wait, staying home is kind of boring too and boy do you miss those crazy, wild parties!

7) You say modern dating with apps and all is really impersonal 

But shit, it's so damn convenient!

8) You say that infidelity is wrong and will never cheat on your partner

But oh wait, you had those sinful thoughts of that hot girl/dude you met the other day. Nobody knows but, is this... cheating?

9) You say you will kick that person's ass because you're so mad! You swear you will! You can take'em on!

But oh wait, there're many people around you now and starting a fight is just going to reflect badly on you. You start to think properly and cool off instead.

10) You say you hate your job and your boss is a total jerk. You're definitely going to quit soon

But oh wait, here you are, still working. It has been a year since you said you'd quit.

11) You said on your blog that you intend to help as many people as possible and will reply every email and comment you get

But oh wait, it's too many. You can't handle'em all and it disgusts you that some people get unhappy just because you didn't reply on time. Then you start to reflect and truly wonder if you're that nice of a person.

12) You say that that couple who constantly squabbles over stupid shit are really childish and immature

But oh wait, now that you've a partner, you suddenly find yourself fighting over shit that's of the same caliber.

13) You say that that new song by Justin Bieber totally sucks ass

But oh wait, you just caught yourself lip-syncing to it!

14) You say that new blockbuster in cinemas is such a sellout and has no real artistic value

But oh wait, you plan to watch it this Christmas anyway.

15) You say that you feel old as fuck every time your birthday comes

But oh wait, here you are still having some god damn fun yo!

16) You say that Bitcoin was a bubble and going to burst

But oh wait, YOU JUST FUCKING BOUGHT SOME.

How do you deal with all these damn contradictions?!

Balance.

Do what you have to do.

Take a break from time to time.

Stop wasting your time talking shit about others.

Stop being so damn judgmental.

Get out of the damn house, but you don't have to party and get drunk everyday.

Spend some money, save some money.

Work hard, but have fun.

Shut up and be happy.