Turning Twenty: The Dilemma
Monday, August 21, 2017… a day to remember. People all over America migrated to a 70 mile wide path to witness one of God’s most profound art shows, a full solar eclipse. My dad and I were one of them. Because we lived in the Atlanta area, we had to make an hour and a half long drive up north, passing cars of families, young adults who called off of work, and elderly couples. Adrenaline was pumping as we worried we would be unable to make it in time. On the way, my grandfather called to apprise us on his experience as the shadow passed over Denver just minutes before.
All in all, this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will never forget. It appeased my inner childhood astronomer and acted as a relationship builder with my dad.
However, in sixty years moments like these will be irrelevant. It will only remain in a closet of my mind, possibly unopened for years.
Gerascophobia: an abnormal or incessant fear of growing old or ageing
I am not going to self-diagnose myself with this rare mental ailment. Nevertheless, thoughts of this character have transpired as of recent, especially since turning twenty. All of my life, I had been either a child or teen. These years have been near perfect. I am very content with my past and would not change a thing. So many character building, awesome experiences have made me who I am today.
However, this past birthday has invoked a change like never before. As I enter into my third decade, I have begun a new, self-imposed era. As exciting as it is to start a period of truly establishing my life (ie. developing an expert economics, establishing a career, starting a family of my own), I am becoming increasingly aware of the possible loss of aspects of my life I found essential in my past. For years, my elders have divulged to me pleasant childhood memories, and now they are just that… memories and stories. Soon, MY older relatives, childhood friends, and more will meet the same fate.
I am fully aware that I am in my prime, or will soon be, and I have so many more life experiences to create. Generally, I am not a glass-half-empty kind of guy; however, in this aspect, I appear to be. 🤷
Nevertheless, I truly believe that God places us on this Earth to fulfill our very own destined purposes. Just last week marked the 50 year anniversary of the death of Martin Luther King Jr. This is undeniably a man who had a goal and gave his all to ensure its completion. As a result, millions of lives have been changed for the better for many generations to come.
King appeared unafraid of confronting his own mortality and life’s natural progress. Watching his last speech, I get a feeling that he knew his last days were coming, but it did not worry him. Below is an excerpt...
“Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live - a long life; longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”
During my twenties, I hope to find my life’s mission and actively work to complete it, no matter the sacrifices I must make. Maybe then, I can enter my 30s not only content with my past but comfortably turning around and looking forward to my god-planned future.
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