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I think anyone who has ever lost a loved one might relate to what I am feeling right now. After losing someone, do you ever get over it? My guess would be NO. However, after a certain amount of time I am sure a bit of acceptance settles in. You should start to feel like maybe you can process what happened and you can dare say that things are getting “better”, right? Even if you exclude all the millions of times something would remind you of them and leave you crying, raging or just standing frozen as you remember how life changed. Surely after that you should be able to move on…
It has not even been a year since my dad’s passing after losing his battle against cancer, and my birthday is coming up. Even though I thought I should be okay now, it just hid me the past few weeks: For the first time in my entire life I will not hear my dad’s voice on my birthday. He will not call and ask about my day and my plans. There would have been a time set aside in my day on my birthday to wait for his call and have him congratulate me, but now that time is just a sad emptiness. Consuming my thoughts, leaving me heartbroken all over again. I guess even when you feel things are okay now and you are moving forward, one small event like a birthday can make you question your progress all together.
My approach the past few weeks: I have taken time to really remember him and embrace the pain. I still believe it’s the best way to deal with pain. If you cannot say it and deal with it, you can never heal from it.
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I have never really been big on birthdays at all. I don’t want a party, the fuss or anything. For me it is just another day. Yet this birthday feels like a special one. It feels special in a way that it is not just another day. Not anymore. It stands out among the other days and not because it is my birthday, but because it lacks something as simple as that special phone call.
Thank you for reading...@aidanblue
I have missed that call for a very long time now.
Lost my Safetynet of a dad when I was in college, and for me the answer is "no" even after 30 years.
I was very lucky to have had that special person in my life who knew how to act and treat others and how to make you feel special without having an ego bigger than your surroundings.
After this long I still think of him and miss him every day.
The very worst part is having had children that never knew such a wonderful grandfather, and I hate that they never had the good example or simple learning experiences that I had. I feel like they missed out on so much.
But with time comes the realization that I never would have done certain things in my life or pushed myself in certain ways and I always depended on the back up. I am not near the father know the person that he was, and I certainly don't understand His plan and taking him at an age which I now I am approaching myself.
I do know that I am very thankful to have had him for the time I did and to have had the privilege of calling him my dad.
@ohicklin I only just saw your reply on this post by chance, don't think my notifications are working too well...
However, thank you for your reply. My dad has actually been on my mind quite a bit tonight and now I saw your reply which is actually comforting in a way.
I feel like I can relate to exactly what you are saying. Missing him never ends and yes, my child is also missing out on having my dad as his grandfather. He was a great grandfather to my niece, but passed away when my little one was only 1 year old.
But yes I am holding on to the memories and time I did get with him. Some days it just gets to you, you know... But thank you so much for your reply. It helps and means a lot.