What and how much could you forgive if you are in love?
What and how much could you forgive if you are in love?
A year into her marriage, because she was extremely unhappy, Helen did what was to many people, including herself - an unforgivable thing.
She had an affair. It lasted 6 months, mainly sexting and a couple meetups. It started as a drunken mistake, but she carried it on anyway, as the person she had an affair actually paid attention to her and listened to her dreams, and answered her texts fast.
When the cat was let out of the bag, shortly after one of those 'couple' of meetups, there was much turmoil and heartache at her incredibly selfish actions.
But her husband decided to give her a second chance, to give the marriage a second chance. And she agreed, as just maybe with better communication the marriage could just work.
They made a plan to salvage the marriage, show each other that they still loved each other every day, so that such an event would never happen again and their united dreams could still survive.
Sometimes words failed Helen, but they came out beautifully in poetic form. She was truly sorry and still loved her husband and wanted desperately for him to believe her, so she wrote out her feelings in these words...
You are the buoy that keeps me afloat
You are the treasure on a pirate boat
And the boat that keeps me safe at sea
You are the best thing that happened to me.
You are my blue sky in the rain
You are the paracetamol to my pain
You are the music that soothes my soul
You are the part that makes me whole.
I don't want a future without you
I want all our dreams to come true
I'll do whatever it takes to make it right
Just to be curled in your arms each night.
I love you, please believe me
I'm on bended knee
It's true
My life isn't a life without you.
Forgive me.
What do you think?
Would you forgive her?
Do you think this marriage survived, or could survive after this?
Is an affair ever forgivable?
Words and Poem by @hopehuggs
Forgiving is such a subjective case and is hard to make a judgment without nuances. For me it's about how the truth came forth and what she expresses. If she came to me telling a mistake or a regret, forgiveness would be easier. But for me forgiveness is more about if the person I have to forgive WANTS the forgiveness and how far she would reach for it. Anything is forgivable, it's just a matter of if you AND the person deserves it in the end.
I like that answer. She reached for the stars, but should have reached for the moon.
https://steemit.com/my/@baveva/my-tracks
Forgiving is very hard, and it's even harder in that case. But after a brief period of grieving your past relationship and being angry at the person, you will realise that you deserve better. You did not deserve to be cheated on. And today, you do not deserve to feel awful because of this person. Forgiving is a very important step to move on. It does not justify the wrong but instead does not allow it to affect us anymore. Forgiving also helps us to see the positive as we are choose to free ourselves from the negative feelings.
No, he did not deserve to be cheated on, no-one does. When you look at someone and see in their face that their heart is shattered into a million pieces and they become undeservedly physically and emotionally broken, by someone who supposedly loves them.
Six months is quite a long time if you ask me. Enough to have stopped and asked yourself several times how much hurt would a person be by your actions. I feel she's only sorry because she got caught. I really don't know what I'd do if I was in her hubby shoes reading the poem, one thing is certain.
The trust is gone
You are right, they tried to make the relationship work for another 7 years after this and the trust never came back.
Wow, 7 years. That's awesome both parties doing their best to keep things together, because of the kids as well probably . Guess as hards as it is to forgive, even harder is it to trust again.
Yes, 2 kids that magnified the problems if truth be told.
Hmm...whether to be forgiven or not its depending on the partner's love for her. But in my opinion, trust is something like a glass. Once its broken,it can be glued back but the scars remains there forever. It can never be as beautiful as it was before again. Likewise, relationships are made of trust. It definitely takes lots of effort and time to gain back that trust!
Scars can be beautiful sometimes, and there were moments when they thought that everything they had been through made them stronger than ever.
Lovely story and really shows the relationship You did not deserve to be cheated on. If there is no trust in a relationship, there is no relationship.
It depends I think on how much you want something and sometimes it is impossible to let go, even though more pain is being caused.
It's hard to say, I think if y husband cheated on me, I wouldn't be able to forgive him. A poem wouldn't help. I don't think I could ever trust him again.
Also in her case, it was a 6-month relationship, which means that there were probably feelings involved. If it was just a one-night stand it would be a different thing, I guess. But one never really knows until one is in that situation, so it's hard to judge.
I intentionally left out chunks of the tale to get a more honest opinion from people. The poem was just one action of many, she didn't go out anywhere, they resaid their marriage vows, she left her job etc.
Totally agree. It is hard to judge until you are in the same shoes... But then again, every relationship is different.
Well as for me, I would say "love forgives all but when the love is broken it hard to forget"
@steve1122 The Nigerian Prince
You are damn right
Thanks @tosinox4u
yes u r r8
🐋😎👍🏻
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Yep, forgiving is easier than forgetting.
💐💐💐🌹🌹🌹 thanks dear
Trust is a very precious thing, its priceless. But when its gone, its gone.
There will always be a question mark.
If there is no trust in a relationship, there is no relationship.
Helen was told on numerous occasions that the trust was back and had it retracted other something or nothing, or just a bad mood. I now am of the same opinion that when it's gone, it's gone.
Never, trust is the most important part of a relationship.
It is the foundation of any relationship.
Lovely beautiful writting and really shows the relationship . I like it .
Complicated relationship. Or are they all like that?