ADSactly Personal - Dear Steemian, Your Thoughts on Changing Your Name Please
Dear Steemian,
Today's dilemma is should I change my name?
I have come to an interesting point in my life, where my passport runs out next year, I am separated, but still using my married name and I hate my maiden name, so I could give myself a whole new identity by law. It only costs £14.99 by deed poll to do this in the UK
So I could actually become Hope Huggs for real. And it is something I am seriously considering, despite the sniggers I get from the people I ask when I tell them I might do it.
Actually the only person who thought it was a great idea was the counsellor who I talked to to help me deal with the break up of my marriage.
I am going through a liberating part of my life, throwing off shackles of a tough few years and changing my name feels like it could be a significant part of the "this is me" process.
The name Hope Huggs says it all really about the type of person I am and who I strive to be. It is a bit quirky, yes - but so am I!
I know that if I did go through with it, there will be some eyebrows raised and lead to some interesting conversations, but I can tell them all to come to Steemit. :)
Yes, probably the most interesting reaction will come come from father as this is something he will not be impressed about (much like the decision I made to invite a steemian friend into my home, I talked about in the last post).
I have talked my Mom around, she says as long as I include Helen as a middle name or first name, she'd 'live' with it.
I suppose that main drawback would be all the paperwork required to show who I am when it comes to form filling (and particuarly government related like voting forms). But I changed my title from 'Mrs' to 'Lady'and that hasn't caused too much hassle so far.
The only thing that would bug me a little bit would be the fact that my degree and masters certificates would still be in my maiden name and it would feel almost like they belonged to someone else. But that is a feeling and feelings can be worked on.
So let's take a summarized look at the Pros and Cons. (Perhaps I have missed some, please do let me know if you can think of any more)
The PROs
- Getting rid of a name that you dislike
- A new identity, a new start
- A name that I have chosen myself
- Opportunity to explain why I have choosen this name and to talk about Steemit.
The CONS
- Everytime I do official paperwork I will have to proove who I am.
- Education certificates will be in a different name
- will have to change name on bills, banks, etc
- Potential ridicule of the name
So what do you think, my fellow Steemians?
Is the name change idea a little too close to crazy, or does it have some merits?
Your sincerely,
I feel like you shouldn't change your name,
1- when a child is born, parents choose childs name which they find best for his/her life, for child to not be mocked (denis-penis and stuff like that) and the type of person they think you will strive to be
2- all your friends, family and people in your life will have to get used to call you new name and it will be a complete hole in them for the rest of their lives because it is very very very... very rare for a person to change name
3- so we live in a world of social media, and sometimes forgotten friends from when you were a child, and let's say you come to 50s-60s-70s, seek to find others who are still alive, and it's unimaginable how happy it makes you feel when you get in touch with someone who you lost cause you went different paths of life
4- you think it's funny story when people will want to know why you changed your name, and what was it before this one, but in my opinion after first 10-15 times it will just be exhausting.. to repeat the same story to people who might just go home and never see you again and they will forget about that story in matter of hours and never bring it up again, ofcourse there will be people who will find that funny and maybe tell their friends, but your idea of mentioning steemit and your past name will exclude one another, wether a person is motivated for money or for memories, they will just forget about the other thing you said, and strive either to find more about you because you had the courage to change something that in this times defines you, and if person just listens for steemit, even if they join steemit, they will use you to get themselves up, and you guessed it, you will be forgoten
5 - you are walking down the street and somebody yells : (idk your name so i'll just use Helena) Helena! you keep walking because your name is Hope... person just stands and wonders why you don't want to turn around, maybe you don't like them anymore? . another day comes person sees you, you say hi, he looks away and keeps walking, you think to yourself, the person dislikes me now? We were so good back then...
Sorry for long post I just wanted to express how I feel about changing the name, because, what ties us to past lives where we were no one and nothing or abuse or anything negative, isn't tied to name or our current chlotes or apartment or the gift from that person, it's all in OUR head.. past life won't let you go until you let go of it, and trust me, because all the way up untill 2016, we could've barerly afford rent and food, any kind of clothing was luxury for me, and the only thing I changed is my mindset, and it went uphill from there .. Cheers!
Thank you so much for writing out these reasons, they are all very valid points. I might argue that the name change might assist the mindset, but yes essentially that is just a thought inside my head and doesn't change anything.
After all is said, I know you will make the right decision, after all we can all comment and advise you, but you will keep that decision for the rest of your life, not us, I just tried to give you my perspective and the best possible solution. :)
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
Your name is who you are. It may have been selected for you, but it's up to you to own it.
No just don't change it
Why do you say 'no' @jout?
You got a 0.08% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @jout!
Hey Hope, thanks for sharing this story with us. First things first: I think YOU alone make the decision. It is your name, it belongs to you. So the decision belongs to you, too. Not your father or mother or some stranger over the internet (including me), but you.
Having said that, I think it becomes pretty clear from your post that you want to change your name and get rid of the old one that you "dislike". It is that tiny little word "dislike" that is decisive. If you would say that you still like the name because you have sort of grown into it over the years, and even though your marriage didn't work it is still a part of you, I would advise you to consider keeping it. But if you really do not like the name anymore, I see this as a sign of getting rid of it. The cons that you listed are basically just some administrative hurdles that you will learn to get over real quick. But what is important is that YOU feel comfortable with your name.
Anyways, that's just my two cents, hope it helps you make a decision that feels right for you.
Don't worry I won't blame Steemit if I do change it and it all goes pearshaped. I was just interested in other people's opinions on the matter. It's quite a mixed bag so far.
I can imagine :) But I like that you "crowdsource" your decision-making process
Interesting... Personally, changing one's name seems like a big hassle to me, and I'm content with my own name, so I've never really given it any thought. That being said, everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and, as long as they don't hurt anyone else, should feel free to exercise their given rights should they choose to do so.
If you aren't happy with your name, want to change it, and are willing to put up with the hassle, then I say go for it! Getting people's input is important, but only as far as it is constructive. If they just think it's weird or different because it isn't "normal", then their point is somewhat invalid in my opinion. If they want to make a constructive comment or give actual advice, i.e. "Keep in mind that you may have to put up with some smiles and laughs because of your new name," then debate over it and determine if it is worth it to you. Some of those smiles and laughs might be because they like your name or because it has become a small bright spot in their day, you never know.
I'm ok with names that are a bit different. In fact, I often enjoy hearing them and find them interesting. My wife and I are planning on naming our daughter (19 weeks to go!) after a character from a cartoon. When people hear the name, they always ask where we got it from, at which point we awkwardly laugh and tell them it's from an anime called Full Metal Alchemist. My point is that we like the name and don't really care what others may say (granted our daughter may potentially resent us for that in the future, but I think Winry is pretty nice name overall, so I'll risk it). Be willing to hear people's opinions and advice, but remember that YOU are the one that has to make the decision and live with it.
At the end of the day, If you decide a name is something you enjoy, that it makes you feel good about yourself, and you decide you can deal with all of the potential downsides to changing your name, then do it!
Yes, my 6-year-old daughter doesn't appreciate being named after a rabbit in Watership Down, even though it is a really pretty name, that was popular about 60 years ago, She doesn't like being the only one with it at school.
I'm sure that one day she will appreciate it :) At that age the problem is probably just that it is different or unique. Most people come to appreciate being a bit unique in time. I certainly hope my daughter will, haha.
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
What I feel is you should go ahead with "Hope Huggs". I love my name but if I had a different name I would change it to my present name without any doubt.
You have listed some pros and some cons but I don't think you should look for cons, even a single pros is enough to do what you feel like doing.
GO FOR IT
Yay, thank you @cryptogecko. Very empowering.
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You got a 6.20% upvote from @allaz courtesy of @cryptogecko!
Hey, if you think of doing it then do it! Simple as that. Don't worry about the paperwork. These chors are just small stepping stones towards the change. A welcome change, isn't it?
Ps: I did change my surname 7 years ago. It helped :) I only changed one letter and mixed the other letters. Numerologicaly based on a Chaldean system, of course ;)
My suggestion - go ahead. Good luck!
Have you considered name Steemit Steemens?
I am joking, We can say anything but on the end you have to follow your heart, no matter the cons.
Good advice @olegw. I am trying hard to go with head AND heart these days.
Oh yeah, this two rearly go together😀
tell me about it lol
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
I personally don't think it's a good idea because first of all you are changing your identity second and the most important point is that you have already mention about your education documents and all other documents on which your name is mentioned, things seems easy on local level but by any chance if you need to move internationally you need to prove yourself at every checkpoint and believe me it will be a huge disaster for you.
I hope you understand the point but this is just my opinion rest is up to you.
I hope your decision will be the one that makes your life easier and satisfactory.
Good point, I have no particular ties to the UK and am slowly coming around to the idea of potentially living elsewhere. Maybe USA, maybe Europe.
MATE. totally do it.
i wanted to change my name to philip strawberry.
i had this whole illusion that i was an american golfer.
but better than that my daughter who i call bella
would be bella strawberry, best youtube name ever.
also her mum would become sam strawberry.
if i was you. i'd do it.
BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE FOR TODAY.
Hope and Strawberries Hmmm. It is quite catchy :)