ADSactly Life: Who Would Have Teenagers?
Who Would Have Teenagers?
Let me tell you a story about someone else's teenagers...
It really is a catalog of events leading to much mischief...
My friend had gone out with her husband and left her two sons, 15 and 13, to their own devices. The elder one found out about a house party that he wanted to go to, so he called his mother and asked for permission to go, but she said: "No, not unless the parents call me and say that it is okay".
The 15-year-old decides to go anyway and walks the hour and a half required to get to the roughest part of my town, let's call it Bidley, without transport. When questioned later on this decision, he said that he was going to get the parents to call his Mom, when he got there.
Anyway, the result of this misdemeanor is that the 15 year old ended up in the accident and emergency department of the hospital the next morning, due to a very badly swollen face after getting into a fight.
He was accompanied by a hungover Mom, who had tried to enjoy herself the night before and had mistakingly put a little trust in the fact that her two teenage sons might behave for just one night!
One behaved, so maybe it is not the worse case scenario of what could have happened.
Let's take a closer look at what happened....
The part of the story that remains the same is:
There was a young lad on his own who came out to one of the fish and chips shops in Bidley and he was recognized as one of the rugby players on an opposing team, who had got away with a crazy foul.
So someone thought it was a great idea to get him to say he was ’sorry’, but not only did he have to say he was sorry, but he had to get down on his knees and say sorry too.
There ended up being a group of people surrounding him and goading him, telling him to get on his knees, or else and he did what he was asked and ran off.
But, a few minutes later he returned, but guess what?
They obviously forgot the area of town that they were in and that they were 'strangers' in that part of town...
As the boy came back with at least a whole a rugby team worth of guys (the number mentioned was 30, but that is one of the debatable parts) with bats, which had the end result of my friend’s son ending up in accident and emergency for getting beaten up and being involved in some way.
He is okay. Very swollen eye and, swollen mouth from a damaged tooth, but he will be okay.
A lesson learned? Maybe. Although which lesson I don't know. But at least one would be good.
This is where the different stories come in as to what exactly happened.
Scenario 1
He was among the crowd of people who goaded the lad and made him say sorry and was pointed out as one of the people who were there, so the group went after him.
Scenario 2
He went to a house party (the one that their Mom said they couldn’t go to, unless she heard from the parents, but he went anyway), but the father came home and chased them all out into the street and they ended up being in the wrong place and wrong time and got involved in the fight. It has a ring of truth, but why would they be chased, unless they didn’t leave quietly and nicely, which he insisted he did.
Scenario 3
He joined in the affray because he was defending one his friends who was there at the time of the lad being made to say sorry and he didn’t want his friend to get hurt.
Scenario 4
It was a case of mistaken identity that they came after him because he was part of the group that bullied the boy on and they apologized to him after causing some damage to his face.
It makes me wonder what really happened and makes me dread the teenage years of my own two. They are girls, but in this day and age and DNA, goodness only knows what they will get up to!
What do you think really happened? I’ll guess we will never know, but if I had to guess I would say he might have been involved in the initial event with the young lad when he was on his own. However, he doesn’t want to admit that he was that cruel and was part of what initiated the whole situation.
Anyway, a snapshot into the fun of being a parent of moody teenagers. I can't wait!
Written by @hopehuggs <3
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I can totally see option 1 happening. He got caught up in the pack mentality of the humiliation of the guy being made to say sorry and was found later and attacked because of his words. It goes to say, you should always listen to your parents. Teenagers often believe they know better than the adults in their lives. I know my teen tries my patience at the best of times. They are a challenge, to say the least. As long as we are there to support them and their mistakes are not dangerous or life-threatening we can educate them through the mistakes. For the young man inthe story he made a dangerous mistake, unfortunately.
My 7 year old already thinks she knows best, it is already a battleground. But she loses out on things because of it. Hopefully, enough for her to get the picture.
I sincerely hope no dangerous mistakes are made. It will depend on a lot of factors. One great one at the moment is that she is a complete angel at school. Long may that last.
It is funny how sometimes our kids are more difficult for us than for others. It’s great to hear she is doing her best to please her teachers and do well. Our kids know how to push our buttons and there is a different emotional connection (dependence and expectations) and kids are so good at pushing us to the edge for what they want.
I believe that as parents we must prepare ourselves to raise our children, without a doubt the stage of more rebellion is the adolescence, sometimes we pass by there and we know that we believe that we know ourselves the world, but it is not like that... blame the boy for going out without permission, the group of young people who want to fight, in this life there is everything, so we must become aware as parents of the dangers that our children run and so train them to make the right decisions themselves without having parents on the side, could also understand that the path is made and that something would happen with any of the young people, a complicated situation...
what is very true is that we have a hard journey as parents, I have one of just 3 years and I am already preparing, happy afternoon.
Excuse my English, I use a translator.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator
I agree we have to stress the dangers. I would always tell my kids certain area's were off limit. When they said they would be in such a such place I'd often stop by with some excuse at hand, like I thought you may all like a pizza, or would they like for us to go rent some movies for this stay over, you guys need anything else for your party....these gave me excuses to legitimately stop by without seeming like I was spying. If they weren't were they said they were suppose to be I'd go hunt them down to see what it was they were really up to.
It is a good technique to make friends with your children's friends, I am preparing to accept them at home, so we can see how each one works, we can have a better vision and confidence in them, we must be teenagers again be part of the same team and thus be a little more attentive to details!
I did the same thing for the most part. Gather them all up, let them rent movies and games, always had a big pot of food on the stove, never argued about letting them spend the weekend nights. Up close and watchful, give them enough space to feel as though I am not there. I'd rather have known they were safe and being kids instead of being influenced by the wrong people.
great idea! parenting is a great responsibility but certainly a greater satisfaction to see them grow up with well! I congratulate you happy evening
My daughters are 5 and 7. And my 7 year old already acts like a stroppy teenager, it makes me wonder what she will like when she actually is one. Maybe life is trying to prepare me.
Another important point is human development today, in our time we could say that adolescence began at 14 years old! Today I watch with sadness how the parents themselves take our children to a premature maturity, besides I believe that technology helps them to advance faster... so they must start to go gray in their head LOL.
Good article :)
you are exactly right @melvadg proven that parents should be aware in the changes of their siblings in time of Adolescence .. thank you for sharing of your opinion..
the task of parents is difficult, but not impossible, let's make our children good people and we will have a much better world, thank you for your kind comment.
The original mistake is the obvious one. He went to a party without permission. The 'what happened', while relevant isn't the issue to me.
You would hope your child wouldn't take a beating for being part of the bullying group, but sometimes the 'pack mentality' over rides otherwise good judgement.
It's a lesson for the 15 yr old, and maybe for the 13 yr old as well. What he learned from the lesson probably depends on how much responsibility he took for his part in it.
Thanks for a great post Hope. Very much appreciated.
I know his mum has been beside herself for the last week after the incident. But hopefully the lesson has been learnt. I think maybe they will get a 'babysitter' next time, that might their lesson learned!
Adolescence is one of the most intensional but at the same time difficult periods for the child's parents. Firstly, for such an age, children begin to feel more older and mean and more independent. In most cases this is good. But there are situations similar to how a 15 year old boy disobeyed his mother and went to a party. I know by myself that at this age I did not like to sit still and so could get into trouble. Eh youth :)
I think that this is an option 1. It is more believable and logical. Although I would not rule out the varinat at number 4.
You are right, most likely you do not know anything about it. But still from this situation everyone can learn a lesson. The main lesson, of course, was learned by the injured guy. But you also learned a lesson for yourself. You as a mother of growing girls and your excitement justified. Many of my acquaintances say that girls in their teens are more capricious. They are emotional. But personally I think that it's all about upbringing. The way you raise your children (boys or girls) is how they behave. That is the main upbringing. Children should respect their parents. Then many problems can be avoided.
Thank you, instructive life story
I am always going on about respect, believe me. I hope it pays off when it gets to the teenage years. Always nice to hear from you @frank1in.
Adolescence is the perfect stage to invest for a person's future ..
With awareness and guidance
Great work from you, well done
Thanks for sharing
Teenager nowadays were so wild and they love to explore risky things. This maybe due firstly, to the parents upbringing on their children - on how they diwcipline them while they are young. Second, they were influenced by the things on their sorrounding, their peers & etc. But the big factor of the wild behavior of the children is the parent's way on how they mold their children. The behavior of their children reflects the performance of their parents being a parent.
Adolescence is the perfect stage to invest for a person's future ..
With awareness and guidance
Great work from you, well done
Thanks for sharing
Having a teenage daughter I can tell you girls are easier but not that easy. My daughter last year when she was 14 though it a good idea to steal her grandmothers car with her 15 year old cousin and go for a joy ride for her cousin to go buy some pot
I remember having one or dodgy moments as a teenager, trying to impress friends I seem to remember. But they were far and few between (I think, my mum, might tell a different story). Possibly another reason why I am wary about these two becoming teenagers. Definitely, a couple of pot incidents in there too, but no joyriding.
Sounds more like the hopehuggs I know. Well, Lady Hope, you don't have to worry too much. There's never a bad time or a good time. People were till beaten up in our days and same in my dad's days (or so he told me). You can't really do anything, just tell the girls to try and live as much of a good life as they can then hope everything works out well.
One has a temper if things aren't "fair", hopefully we can find ways and means to deal with that before more emotions set in.
oops, the kinda kids that fight for others. You will have to try and get her to handle it now that it's still early. I wish you success on that. It's very important.
I cannot even tell what happened because tennagers are great liars they always think they are smart but I Was not easy too in my teens
I was never good at lying. I would tell selective truths, but no outright lies as I'd get caught out on those. Too honest in some cases, that resulted in a ban of a particular friend.