being OUT. being LOUD. being PROUD.

I came out over 12 years ago. Has the narrative changed? perhaps, but that is a story for another day.

This was me in 2008, the time when I came out.

I'm sharing this story from my thoughts 4 years after coming out, that is 8 years ago. It maybe a blast from the past, the story however doesn't get old. There is still someone out there who needs to hear this, I certainly hope my story will be somewhat helpful. Remember you are never alone.

Rewind

I had come out to most of the people closest to me. People whom I felt could be trusted and could deal with the information I handed them. These included a handful of family and friends.

Obviously, it was not all rosy and pink.

Most people… most not all, have been very understanding, supportive and did not go into panic seizures. You know who you are, thank you and I love you all.

There were/are some who were/are rude and irritating and when push comes to shove well, you sometimes have to shove back.

Then there are those who want to remain ignorant to the fact, keep living in denial, and think they have it all figured out… You don’t! In reality you have never known me and you never will for as long as you deny the fact that is as clear as day.

So… why is it so important to come out?

Coming out is a very liberating, soul lifting experience. Simply because after years of living a lie and trying to be something you are not we finally start being true to ourselves and do not have to hide an innate part of our being from the people closest and dearest to us.

What I have come to learn is that somehow the coming out process never ends. There is always someone new who needs to be told. There is always someone who needs to be reminded, because people tend to conveniently forget.

I do know this though; no matter how many times you come out and regardless to whether the reaction is negative or positive, it still always feels excellent to be true to yourself.

Coming out is never easy, but it may not be as scary either. Only come out when you are ready to.

this is me in 2010

A message to heterosexuals in the dark:

It is not a phase and it is not going to change. This is who we are. We exist and have existed for centuries.

It is not a trend, oh my! what a difficult trend would this be to follow. Why in heavens name would you think we would be following a trend when it makes our lives so hard.

It is not the media. Golly, I should be straight as a ruler if it was media influence. Think about it, the only thing the media exposes us to 24/7 is heterosexuality and not homosexuality. I’m still gay!

Keep in mind when someone dear to you comes out to you and you choose to ignore it, you are also choosing to shut yourself out of important parts of their lives. Instead of being part of their life, you would instead be pushing them further and further away.

Open your eyes and open your mind. You will see that we are no different from you. You will realize that we love with our hearts just like you. You will learn that we can live together in harmony.

and in 2017