My thoughts on Love and how loves plays in my life.

7/26/16

Right now i am writing at school waiting to go to my next class. I kind of wanted to jump into this really fast because im tired of being in the closet. I did not want to start off like this but I am Pansxual. Let me give you the definition of Pansexual in the simplest way. I am can be into a man, women , transgendered, androgynous, and gender fluid people. I dont care about what is the outside i care more about someones personality. I known i was gay for a long time since i was in elementry school having on a crush on a cute girl. All my friends know and some of my closes cousins know about it but not my mom or grandma or my siblings. I told my dad along time ago his reaction was a shock to me. He made me feel like nothingbut know since im older my dad and i are okay but i dont bring who ever im a dating around my family. I know this is old school but who ever i date it has to be a year before they meet the family. I dont know why im like that but i am. And i am a family person. I love my family. (THIS FIRST THING IM ABOUT TO WRITE IS TRUE!!!!)I want to have a family , i want to get married by the court or in a church i dont care unless it someone that i love and my family loves. i want to adopt kids because there are alot of kids out here with out a home and i want to provide kids that there is more. Its just what i want in my future. I want to go back to the parantheses of about my true thought of my future. Not to long ago I was facetiming a Girl. I really like her and the part of her personality ( that i know) really pulled me in and she made me red like a tomato ( in a british voice). she asked me my veiw point of marriage that smae day in my History class my proffessor gave his view point on it and i simply said the same thing he said " It is just a contract" . At the time I dont know what told me to say that when it is not true. I think i was scared and gave that awnser because It throw me off gaurd because we only talked for like 2 months and i was like whoaaaaaa im still in college. or im just simply afraid to tell her my real thoughts because people have diffrenet ideas. ( im not an open person untill i trust you than ill open up) I think my awnser push me into the friend zone... Wont lie i do like her and i wanted more but yeah that will be anothor story maybe. I want to appolgize for the miss spelling and crappy grammer these are just my thought.