My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left
Enough With Your Dirty Walls and Untidy Sound-proofing
Dear Peter,
I have always felt relieved living near to you. You are the most trendy neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your inconsiderate dog.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your walls is too dirty and your sound-proofing way too untidy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hedge trimmer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your inconsiderate dog from upsetting me. I demand that you paint the fence then take the fence down.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your smelly gerbils increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your inconsiderate dog on Tumblr.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
kpd
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