OLD FASHION KITCHEN HACKS (WITH INNUENDOS)

My mother was a great cook. Back in the day when there was no microwave, women had many kitchen tricks up their sleeves. When I was old enough for her to teach me how to cook, she had me write all her little hints down on paper.

While I was going thru some old pictures, I came across a notebook I’ve had since childhood. I’m going to share some of the things my mother taught me. Some you may know already, but some you may not. Keep in mind, these tips come from a long time ago when the fancy gadgets we have now, did not exist.

A dampened paper towel or terry cloth brushed downward on a cob of corn removes every strand of corn silk.

An easy way to remove the kernels of sweet corn from the cob is to use a shoe horn. It’s built just right for shearing off those kernels in a jiffy. (Hummm, I can think of other things I’d rather use a shoe horn for, but that’s another story.)

Fresh eggs’ shells are rough and chalky; old eggs are smooth and shinny. (I thought it was the other way around…oh wait, that’s something else.)

To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, if it rises to the surface, throw it away. ( I’ve always heard a variation of this can be used to determine whether or not your man has been cheating.)

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To determine whether an egg is hard boiled, spin it. If it spins, it is hard boiled; if it wobbles and will not spin it is raw. (Sounds like a drunken egg to me!)

Egg whites won’t run while boiling or poaching if you add a little vinegar to the water. (Guys won't run if you add a little sugar!!)

Eggs will beat up fluffier if they are allowed to cool at room temperature before beating.

For baking, it’s best to use medium to large eggs; extra large eggs may cause cakes to fall when cooled. ( I guess I forgot this tip, I always thought bigger was better!)

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Egg shells can be easily removed from hard-boiled eggs if they are quickly rinsed in cold water first.

For fluffier omlets, add a pinch of cornstarch before beating.

For a never fail, never weep meringue, add a teaspoon of cornstarch to the sugar before beating it into the egg whites. ( I wonder if this works on weepy women?)

Once your meringue is baked, cut it cleanly, using a knife coated with butter.

A meringue pie may be covered with waxed paper or plastic wrap with no fear of sticking, if first greasing with butter. (Seems they greased a lot of things with butter before using.)

Cheese won’t harden if you butter the exposed edges before storing. (Well, don’t use the butter on your man for sure!)

A cloth dampened with vinegar and wrapped around cheese will also prevent hardening. (Now that sounds like it might sting a bit)

When browning any piece of meat, the job will be done more quickly and effectively if the meat is very dry and the fat is very hot. (Ha! Tell me about it!)

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You’ll get more juice from a lemon if you’ll first warm it slightly in the oven. ( That’s for sure…)

A sack of lumpy sugar won’t be if you place it in the refrigerator for 24 hours. ( I wonder if that works on lumpy butts?)

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Last but not least (for today):

Never have sex in the kitchen. (Well, what mom doesn't know won't hurt her)

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Mom would be appalled at this post, hope you are not, it's all in fun!

Remember,

Keep on the Sunnyside!

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