Attacking the victim
So this week I was victimized in my work environment. And what I found surprising was the fact that so many people in my work environment do not support my attempts to see that the attacker is disciplined. This person has attacked many people in the past. Many. And she was able to attack me because the people before me, did not want to "make waves". They did not stand up for what was right. They took the easy way out. And so now, I must fight the fight. But amazingly, I'm fighting alone. Most have told me to just leave the situation alone. Others just walk away when I talk about it.
What people don't seem to realize is that 1. being the victim is hard enough without everyone else making them feel back for fighting for what is right, 2. by fighting for what is right, I am NOT the problem!, 3. by doing nothing all these years, these people are just as much to blame.
I'm glad I'm stronger than them. I'm glad I care enough about what is right and about those that will follow to take these steps. And I'm glad that I refuse to listen to them telling me to be weak sheep like the rest of them, even though it is hard.
Going through this is hard enough and my attack was minor when compared to something like being raped. This week I've seen the same "procedure" they go through, even though it was completely miniscule in comparison (attack, supposed protectors telling me/victim I should have reacted differently, friends saying I should let it go, stress of all of the aforementioned being added to the stress of the original event, knowing I may ultimately fight this fight alone). When I think of victims who are much worse off than me and yet fought through it all, it gives me renewed strength. This week begins the real fight. I went to the people I was supposed to last week. I got nowhere. Now I go above them. This is the real fight. Deep breath....
Hey BL,
Not having any specifics here is some general advice.
Make sure you have created an email trail to record any attempts to report/resolve the matter and keep track of responses, advice or direction from your employer. The system is geared to protect those in authority, those who can make the decisions and address the issue may avoid getting involved by using the buffer of HR and compartmentalisation that allows them to claim plausible deniability.
Get some assistance, I'm guessing you're not a union member. I'm not familiar with US labour law but if you are feeling threatened or stressed due to being victimized then your employer should at least attempt to address your concerns as a matter of health and safety.
I would advise that you fwd your complaint to every senior manager HR and above including directors or owners. Given that you have no support from your collegues you should request that have a support person attend any meetings or interviews to discuss report/allegations.
Good Luck,
peace.
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