Joke 1

Life is too short

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/589

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Joke 2

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

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Joke 3

Johnny was trying to have sex with Susie against her objection of it's being evil.

Johnny cajoled her. "Evil, yes, it is evil and sin. But Susie, sin is forgiven. Let's begin to seek forgiveness by God. And let's do it now!"

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Joke 4

Q: How do they put out fires at the post office?
A: They stamp them out.

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Joke 5

A couple stepped up to the desk clerk of one of the city's hotel.

"I'd like a room with a bath for my wife and myself, said the young man.

"I'm terrible sorry, sir," said the clerk, "but the only room available doesn't have a bath...only a shower."

"Will that be all right with you, darling?" the man asked the young woman at his side.

"Sure, mister," she said.

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Joke 6

When Abraham Lincoln was captain of an Illinois militia unit, the "Bucktail Rangers," in 1832 during the Black Hawk war, he was as ignorant of military matters as his company was of drill and tactics.

On one occasion his troop, marching in platoon formation, was confronted by a fence. Captain Lincoln had no idea of the properorder, but his quick wit did not desert him.

"Company dismissed for two minutes," he commanded. "At the end of that time, fall in on the other side of the fence."

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Joke 7

A difficult independent seventy-five-year-old woman liked sitting by the park, feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily companions.

Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood.

Suddenly a man in his early foeries rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere, when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.

She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Mister, at my age, I can't throw that far. I'd also be surprised if YOU could -- and you're MUCH younger!"

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Joke 8

Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: Send down fore-skin divers.

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Let the good times roll

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/590

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-25-jan.html

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