Joke 1

Gratitude

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/429

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Joke 2

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself. - Eleanor Roosevelt

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Joke 3

A diner was agitated that the waiter had brought him no spoon with his coffee. "This coffee," he said loud enough for most of the other patrons to hear, "is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers."

The waiter reddened, made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and returned shortly with another cup of coffee. "This one isn't so hot, sir," he beamed.

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Joke 4

Q: Did you hear about the two silkworms that had a race?
A: It ended up in a tie.

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Joke 5

John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.

Mary: Are you wearing it now?

John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line.

Mary: What kind is it?

John: Twelve-thirty.

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Joke 6

A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read:

LAST CHANCE FOR $1.55 GAS!!!

He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up his tank cheap.

As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "So, how much IS gas in Kentucky?"

The man replied, "A buck and a quarter."

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Joke 7

Billy Bob goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but as usual, the store assistant comes along and closes the deal.

On his way home, Billy Bob puts on his new x-ray glasses and, bingo! He sees everyone in the street naked. He takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on... everyone is naked! "Cool!"

As he arrives back home, he is eager to show his new toy to his wife but can't find her. He goes up to the bedroom and finds his wife and the postman, naked in bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still naked. He puts them back on, and they are still naked. Billy Bob then says, "Damn, I just paid fifty bucks for these and they're already broken!"

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Joke 8

Q: Have you seen Quasimodo?
A: I have a hunch he's back!

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Ernest Hemingway

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/428

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-17-jan.html

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