This post was delayed because I had issues connecting to Steemit yesterday so posting it now

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Joke 1

Do something wonderful

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CEmfTs

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Joke 2

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

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Joke 3

A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him, "Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"

The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A."

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Joke 4

Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.

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Joke 5

Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a huff.

"That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said.

Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my toe ... so I pinched her ass."

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Joke 6

Bob was such a womanizer. Everywhere he went, he was always hitting on women. True to his form, he was at a department store one afternoon and was attracted to one of the saleswomen and proceeded to see if she would go out with him that evening.

She snapped at him, "I know your type. You think you can take me for drinks, and then try to get me back to your apartment, and then get me in to your bed. I can read you like a book."

Bob just smiled and said, "Well then, don't miss Chapter 5, it's a doozie."

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Joke 7

A woman was talking to her friends about her husband who had passed away.

When her husband was on his death bed, and he told her that he had three envelopes in his desk drawer that would "take care" of all of the arrangements. Well, he died shortly thereafter, so the wife opened the drawer and there were 3 envelopes just like he said.

One the first envelope it said "for the casket." There was $5,000.00 in the envelope, so she bought him a very nice casket.

The second envelope said "for the expenses" and had $4,000.00 in it so she paid all the bills from the funeral.

The third envelope said "for the stone" and had $3,000.00 in it. She then held her hand out to her friends and said, "Isn't it Beautiful!!!"

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Joke 8

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

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If you aren't big enough to stand criticism

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CHmxcs

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/03/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-16-mar.html

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