Joke 1

Control the things you can control

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/424

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Joke 2

Seeing myself in others and others in myself, whom could I harm, whom could I exploit? - Buddha

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Joke 3

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

It's a surprise for Mother's Day, one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

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Joke 4

Q: Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder?
A: He got a little behind in his work.

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Joke 5

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?"

Little boy: "What the hell do you think?"

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Joke 6

Jake had proposed to young Gina and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.

Do you think you are earning enough to support a family? the older man asked the suitor.

Yes, sir, replied Jake, "I'm sure I am."

Think carefully now, said Gina's father.

There are twelve of us.

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Joke 7

A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"

Uh...well yes. the boy said, "But how did you know?"

She said, "By the gleam in your eye."

They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to kiss me?"

Oh, my yes! replied the boy, "But how did you know?"

She said, "By the gleam in your eye."

As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump; the girl looked at the boy and asked, "Would you like to go all the way with me?"

Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By the gleam in my eye?

No, replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."

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Joke 8

Q: Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.

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Don't hate what you don't understand

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/425

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-14-jan.html

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